What is black and red and can't get through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.



kso hit me with dem

What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?


A nun rolling down a hill.


What goes black, white, black, white, black, white and laughs?


The nun who pushed her.

The old Dead Baby Joke thread killed me.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
.
.
..
...
.....
......
........A dead baby dressed as a clown.

how do you get 20 babies into a bucket?




a blender.

How do you get them out?






doritoes.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You have to take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

OMG LOL I STORSHED THE DEAD BABY THING. and roofy.

yah!

What's the difference between keyboards and babies?




I DONT HAVE SEX WITH KEYBOARDS!!

What's the difference between twenty dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Is it just me, or if we tell the same old jokes again it isnt funny?

Jesus, I meant babies, not babys. Gripster, can you change it plz.

Dead baby jokes are ALWAYS funny.

What do you call a dead baby with a black eye, a disclocated shoulder and a twisted neck?


Bop-it

How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops of dead baby and some root beer.

www.bash.org

might be very old, i dunno.

ROFL

What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.


What is green and sits in a corner?
The same baby, six weeks later.

Why are those two giant, hairy babies just haning there without saying a word?




.



'Cause they're not babies. They're Rodro's cojones!

HARHARHAR

aww thats just sad

A lady is giving birth.
The doctor pulls out the baby, cuts the umbilical cod
and throws the baby against the wall
the parents are like "holy fuck, what are you doing"
He just looks at them, picks it up, and throws it against another wall.
The parents are fucking flipping, (as you can imagine)
the doctor takes one final look at the baby, and throws it out the window
The dad runs up to the doctor, punches him and screams 'what the fuck did you do that for"
the doctor smiles, looks at the dad and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was already dead"

Whats red and goes up and down?

- a tomoato in an elevator LMAO

Your moms like a racecar...
the faster she goes the louder she roars

not a dead baby joke but still funny (up)^

not a dead baby joke but still funny (up)^

here's another one.

three naked gay guys are running around in a circle, one stops.

I don't get it.

I feel very stupid.

Lmfao. I love you so much. <3

A rich man and a poor man are talking about what they got their wives for Christmas.

"I got my wife a diamond ring and a car." the rich man said.

'Why did you get her a diamond ring and a car?" the poor man asked.

'Because, if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she has the car to make her happy." the rich man replied.

'i got my wife some slippers and a dildo." the poor man said.

"Why did you get her slippers and a dildo?" the rich man said.

'Because, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself." the poor man answered.

^^^ haha.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?

A baby playing in a plastic bag.


How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Little Jamie sat beside a pregnant lady on a bus. Pointing to the lady stomach, Jamie aasked, ''Whats that, madam?
''THATS MY BABY. I love him very much,'' replied the lady
Jamie thought for a while, then asked
''If you love him, why did you eat him???

i don't know any joke in english ...

That one was cute funny. All the others are sick funny.



What do you call two gay guys in a sleeping bag?



A fruit roll-up.


Sorry gays.

lmao, that joke was so bad that it was hilarious.

This killed me when I was 7, i had just got my hair cut:

My brother: What you get your hair cut with? A lawnmower?
Me: No. What YOU get your hair cut with? CELERY?

HAHA.. a friut roll-up

Messame me with them
I'll try to tanslate it


What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
Sticking pins in their eyes.

I've heard tons of dead baby jokes, but the simplicity of that one actually made me laugh out loud.

how do u make a baby stop crawling around in circles........

You nail its other hand to the floor.. lol

Once there was an old Indian man. He was gonna die so he made four wishes .

1st wish -> I wanna be so white !
2nd wish-> I want to have so much water that it'll last forever !
3rd wish -> I want to eat chocolate everytime !
4th wish -> I always wanna see woman's behind .

Then in a link he died . In Heaven the God granted his wish by saying . If that wish is what you want, it's that wish that i will grand. In a poof he became what he wanted ...



and you know what he becam . Don't scroll down yet .


SCROLL
















































Ans -> A toilet bowl in a women's toilet. LOL

What's red and bubbly, and is pushed against glass?

a baby in a microwave


omg, dead baby jokes are so fucked up but they make me laugh anyways.

one day a man always wanted to be a dracula.
here comes his chance!!!
the genie ask,"i give u 3 wishes name it!"
the man was excited that's for sure!
he said,"i want to be able to suck people blood,i wan to hav wings!,
i wan to be able to fly!"
a sudden poof sound pop in the air.the man wish was fulfiled!
he turn into a sanitary pad

Ewww, that's good. But I do feel a bit sick now...

Hahhahaha, I get it.

How do you fit 4 gay guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside down.




What do acne and priests have in common?

Acne waits until you're a teenager to cum on your face.

AHAHAHA. Priest jokes = class.

This is a true story. because it was on the glass house -paranoid-

Anyways.


A nun burned down a building, because a 78 year old priest was sleeping with 38year old nun inside, the priest had previousley had relations with the nun which was burning down the building, The priest and the nun he was sleeping with met 30 years ago.



I'm not sure if that makes sense.

I still think my celery one owned.

it did, it really did.

Celery for the win!

Oh and:

What's grosser than gross?
A garbage can full of dead babies.

What's grosser than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive.

What's grosser than that?
He has to eat his way to freedom.

What's grosser than that?
He goes back for more.

Enough dead baby ones from me.

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Nother marriage one:

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the trousers in this family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."

Hmm, humour.

A man is standing at a urinal when he notices that a midget is watching him. Although the little fellow is staring at him intently, the guy doesn't really become uncomfortable until the midget drags a small stepladder up next to him, climbs up, and proceeds to admire his privates at close range.

'Wow,' comments the midget, 'those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!'

Surprised, yet flattered, the man thanks the midget and starts to move away.

'Listen, I know this is a rather strange request,' says the little fellow, 'but I wonder if you would mind if I touch them.'

Again the man is rather startled, but seeing no real harm in it, he complies with the request.

The midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says loudly,
'Okay, hand me your wallet or I'll jump off the ladder.'

wierdo1: knock knock
wierdo2: who's there?
wierdo1: imish
wierdo2: imish-who...?
wierdo1: ha ha ha!!!!!!!! u nt a shoe !!

I have the longest but possibly funniest two jokes I have ever heard.

A 7 year old boy is walking across the road one day when suddenly BAM he is hit by a car. He wakes up a few days later in a monastery with a load of monks around him. They let him stay there for a few days until they can get in contact with his mother. During the night, the boy hears a distant tapping sound. TAP TAP TAP. He gets up and asks a monk what the noise is. The monk says 'I'm sorry, I can't tell you that, you're not a monk.' So the boy leaves it, and eventually goes home.
Ten years later, the 17 year old is again walking across the road and is hit by a car. (Very unlucky boy) He again wakes up in the monastery. And during that night, he hears the tapping sound again. TAP TAP TAP. He asks the monk again what the sound is. 'Sorry, I can't tell you, you're not a monk.' So the boy goes home.
Fast forward another ten years, and the extremely unlucky man gets hit by a car for a third time. He yet again wakes up at the monastery, and yet again, hears the tapping during the night. TAP TAP TAP. He AGAIN asks the monk what it is. 'I can't tell you...you're not a monk.' So the man says 'Ok, let me become a monk.' And he does.
Ten years on, the monk-man visits the monastery. He again hears the tapping sound during the night, this time faster and louder. TAPTAPTAP! So he asks for a final time: 'I am now a monk. I demand you tell me what the noise is.' The monk looks at him, and then says 'Ok, you can. Follow me.' So they start walking down a darkened corridor, lit only by a few flaming torches. As they approach a door at the end, the tapping is now deafening. TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP!!! The monk slowly opens the door...and do you know what was behind it?...

Sorry, I can't tell you, you're not a monk.


A boy is at school one day, when his teacher begins talking about the 'Purple Hippo'. The boy puts his hand up and says 'Miss, what's the Purple Hippo?' The teacher looks shocked. 'You don't know what the Purple Hippo is? Go to the head's office!' So the boy leaves the classroom and goes to see the head. 'Why are you here, boy?' he asks. 'Because I don't know what the Purple Hippo is, sir.' 'You don't? Go home!' So the boy goes home. When he arrives, his mother says 'Why are you home so early?' and the boy replies 'Because I didn't know what the Purple Hippo is.' His mother looks very angry and says 'Go to your room!'. That night, the boy is laying in bed when suddenly hears 'Timmy...I'm the Purple Hippo. Follow me...' So Timmy climbs out of bed and follows the voice out of the window. They arrive at a lake. 'Timmy...get in the boat...come and have a closer look at me...' So Timmy climbs in a nearby boat and rows into the middle of the lake. 'Timmy...stand up so you can see me better...' So Timmy stands up and falls in the water. He drowns.
What's the moral of the story? Don't stand up in boats.


If you are not easily amused, I suggest you don't read the previous two paragraphs.

holy shit my friend was saying them at skool. What do you call a dead babie with a broken jaw----------------- Deepthroat.

Ewwww that's disgusting.

i know i was gagging when he told me. Who the fuck made them jokes anyway... some tard.

I love dead baby jokes. Just the thought of babies giving head gives me the creeps.

dont know about you lol but i didnt have the thought.