Since this Smosh Survivor involves a lot of sitting aroun and being bored. I have decided to help people. If you have any problems (relationship, family, etc,) talk to me in this thread and I will give you my advice. If you are willing to listen I will do my best to help you through your problems. I will be very honest so don't expect me to just say things to make you happy. Think of me as Dr. Phil but not retarded. Funny cuz my name is Felipe which is basically Philip in portuguese/spanish. Ok start telling me about your problems.

P.S. I will not be giving you any prescriptions for drugs. Don't ask me for Medical weed or any of that stuff.

EDIT: Ok In order to make this thread more private, instead of having you guys tell us all your problems where everyone can see I will make a code for you to tell us what kind of problem you have, then one of us will post here saying they will take care of it. That person then will PM you and help you out.

So here's the code:

1 - Relationship
2 - Family
3 - Death
4 - Friends
5 - Loneliness
6 - Disease
7 - Anxiety
8 - Depression
9 - Abuse
10 - Rape
11 - Sex
12 - Religion
13 - Other

After you give us a number please state your gender and age. Thank you

get the fuck out of my thread

Is that Sun's father?

LOL. so what if i have this thing where a guy you like seems to be liking another girl? i've had some bad relationships (2 in the past year) so i ducked out of the scene for a bit. should i lay low until he seems available? P.S. he's a year younger than me, but on our varsity football team...

So, my friend accidentally killed a guy with a truck, and I need to know what I should do about it. For my friend...

Please give me more detail. How often do you see this person. Are you friends? How much younger is he. Are you male or female? (I'm assuming you're a girl but you never know nand I'm not gonna do the research)

If you are friends just try and get yourself in a conversation and ask him if he likes the person you think he likes. Just say some people have been saying he does, as if it was just a rumor going around. Then you will find out if he does or not (he might lie.) Just try to hang out with him as friends as much as possible. Even if he does like this girl, she might not like him back, be ready to comfort him. Always tell him you enjoy his company or like talking to him. This doesn't really mean you like him so you won't be giving yourself away. He might start falling for you cuz you're always there for him.

On the other hand, if you're not friends then you have an even longer road to achieve your goal. Just give me all the details and I'll help you out.



Ok here is what you do. MAKE SURE you wash umm... his hands (your friend's not the body's.) Then put on some gloves and put the body inside the truck. Make sure you hide it well and spray it with bug spray to keep the maggots away, then spray about 9.6 bottles of axe/tag/wahtever body spray so nothing starts to smell. Then you have to drive to Home Depot and buy some type of spray paint. On the outside of your truck write this: "No dead boydy inside lol." DO NOT, I'll say it again, DO NOT forget the "lol." It will look suspicious if you do. Then Keep it in your car until early morning sunday. Go to a church before mass and replace the jesus statue on the cross with the body. Wait a few hours and go to church. Comment on how realistic the Jesus statue looks. Walk away and move out of the country.

EDIT: Almost forgot... bring your friend with you.

Im 13 and i dont know how to do long divison, I know its sad...Teach me please.

See that has nothing to do with psychology and to tell you the truth I forgot about long division after middle school. I just finished the last math class I will ever have to take in my life last semester so don't even go there.

What dose " So dont even go there " supposed to mean? Anyway thanks for being honest.

"So don't even go there" means taht I am done with math for life (except when I'm counting my money) so don't try and corrupt me into doing math again.

My story here, seeing as you asked for it, is needlessly long, and horribly personal, but I have had just enough to drink and don't care if you think it's wrong anyway. Hah.

Once upon a time, Leo was a little girl. Boys had cooties and cooties were bad. They still are, but she neglects to pay attention to this point anymore, she's so xcore. So anyway, little girl Leo was a geek. All her friends had boyfriends and she felt a bit left behind. Eventually, one day, she decided to leave the glasses, pleated trousers and frizzy, frizzy hair behind.

Soon, guys start taking an interest. Because Leo is unused to this reaction, she takes anything she can get. Then, following advice from her friends, she gets picky. She goes for the hottest unavailable guy at the party immediately. She feels attractive if she can get with who she wants.

But then, confusion and hormones strike. During one amazingly drunk party, Leo gets with a person of the same gender. And to her surprise and sort of horror, she likes it. A bit of a lot. Rumours spread, and Leo is fighting to prove her heterosexuality, while still attempting to accept her assumed bisexuality. Which she finds difficult.

Finally, people, as people do, give up and leave Leo alone.

Enter Kara. Kara is... Well, she's hot and funny and lovely and amazing. Leo has been close friends with this girl for sometime now, but one day, she just opens her eyes. Sticky situation for Leo really. She accidentally tells a close male friend of her orientation, thankfully not telling him the object of her affections, seeing as they [Kara and he] were dating at the time.

Now Leo has nursed this crush for a while now, trying to push it down and getting with any guy she can find to try and prove to herself, and other people that she isn't interested in girls at all. She's fighting a losing battle, so far.

I know I'll read this later and cringe, but to hell with it. Shrink that. =P

If you want me to shrink that I will. I might have gotten the idea but if you like girls then don't suppress it. You'll hurt yourself. Does this Kara girl like girls or strictly guys?

Insofar as I know, she's straight.

Are you still good friends?

Yes, I mean, I haven't told her exactly what I feel... But she knows I'm not 100% into guys.

How would she react if you just flat out told her you like her? If she is straight I mean. Do you think she'd freak out or are good enough friends for her to be more understanding?

Leepay! Aw, I haven't talked to you for a while. Anyways, here's my problem:

I really like this guy in my band (of course, always the ones I can never have =/), and he acts as if he likes me, as well.
He always hugs me after each performance, and does a bunch of little things (like lend me his gloves/jacket when its cold or pay for my stuff at Taco Bell =P) that are really sweet. Also, he acts sort of shy around me (he doesn't always look me in the eyes when we talk and sort of stares at the ground).
I've asked him to my homecoming, and he said no, "and its not like I don't like you or anything, it's just that I don't want anything to change from the way it is, and I think the best way to do it is to leave things the way they are."
Should I just give up on him? Or should I wait it out for a while to see what happens?
I'm so confused =[

((And if you're ever having any problems, let me know, because I'd love to help you out =]))

Well you can like both guys and girls it's not as it is the weirdest thing in these days...If u hate people talking thing about you...dont try to think you have to "Prove" your heterosexuality, you know what you are and if you know it, that's enough. you can be "hetero" and like girls (or at least that's what I think) But my best advice, dont get with any guy you find, if he's a douche, you'll regret it. umm I'd write more and more but I dont feel like translating everytinhg right now


Oh Yes I open My Consultory here.

okay leepay, i dont live at home with my dad. but for this christmas im flying to oklahoma. me and my dad are also mormons. im a really horrible mormon. i smoke drink caffiene get drunk, and i have alot of peircings. we arent suppossed to. i have 8. but my dad doesnt know all the things i do. or about my peircings.
i havent seen him in like 2 years so im thinking when i finally see him i should not worry about it cuz he'll be to happy to be mad. or should i tell him before i go down there? also i dont think it will be that bad when i see him cuz my girlfriend is coming down with me so he cant get hella pissed to see me.

Oh geez, I dunno. When I told her I wasn't straight, she was cool with it.
But people always are. Everyone loves gays until they come on to you.



Mnerrh, but people suck, as is common knowledge, and they will be mean. Sob sob cry. I can pretty much cope with that though, it's just when people I thought loved me treat me differently. Which is why I don't really want to talk to Kara. At all. I'd hate it if she went all distant on me. But I wouldn't blame her if she did, I suppose.

Im gonna steal this one Leepay Lol.

Well, maybe if you talk to him b4 your arrival you can bring the topic like "Today some old lady asked me if getting a tattoo hurts and I was like "Not that much" . and he'll be like "You have Tattoos?"
and you can be like "yeah Didnt I mention it to you?".

He likes you. Get him to talk to me and I will hook you up. I have had this problem before where I didn't want things to change with a friend. This actually caused us to kinda split off so he definitely needs to stop worrying about change and admit he likes you a lot.




Don't listen to the this scoundrel trying to steal my thread. I will be with you shortly.

i see him every other day (meaning that i talk to him). i'd consider us friends, but i don't know if he would. he's a few months younger than me (we were born the same year, but i'm in january and he's in october. also we're both in high school and i'm a sphomore and he's a freshman.) and yes, i am female.
but what you're saying did actually happen to me last year on the first go round. it was nice at first (we were together for about 3 months) but then it got kinda weird and i broke it off. so it worked, but it didn't really give me something meaningful. we don't talk now.
what you're saying makes sense, though. i'm just not sure what i should do...

Definitely don't leave it as a surprise for when you get there. It's not nice for your dad to find out about it so close to christmas. Give him a call and tell him about the choices you've made and how you feel about them. If you don't think being a mormon isright for you, tell him that. Tell him that you respect himas much as you always have but you aren't the same person. I think he will understand. If you do this, intead of him spending christmas confused about you you, he can spend it getting to know you more. Good luck man. Any more questions just ask.

Hah, I wish it was that easy.
Unfortunately, I found out that he's going with some girl to his homecoming (we go to different schools, of course), which is not a good sign...

You guys already had something. The best thing you can possibly do is tell him what you're telling me. You wish you still talked to him. You like him and you miss him. Ask for another try.

This thread is now mine bitch.
well I can give you half of the patients, if you want.

Oh I'm not telling you to come on to her. Tell her you like her and you understand if she doesn't like girls. Tell her you don't want it to change your friendship. You are just trying to find someone who likes you back and theres nothing wrong withthat. I'm hoping she's open about these things. Don't tell her you think she's hot or anything like that cuz then you will be coming on to her. Tell her how cool you think she is whether taht means she is a cool friend or more than a friend will depend on her sexuality. If she really is your friend she will understand what you are going through.




You know I am powerful enough to get you voted off smosh survivor right?

How about this. I take all of the patients and I will give you free advice on how to get over your hunger for other people's threads. Goodbye



You obviously don't understand what a mormon is. It's not just a little thing where he can say, "Didn't I meantion it to you?" He would sound stupid. Seriously stop giving my patients bad advice.

oops, sorry. the first guy i dated is a completely different guy. i'm talking about a completely new guy, whom i just met this year.

Sorry I didn't mean to make it sound easy. If he is afraid of change, then you can try to change things anyway. Then he'll realize that things will always cahnge. If he tries to avoid chnge he will never be able to adapt to them. You like him and it's pretty obvious he likes you back. If he's too scared to act on it now, he will act on it later when you don't like him anymore.



Well then try waht I said. Just because it didn't work with that last guy doesn't mean it will happen again. The reason your last relationship ended fter a few months is not because of how it started. You guys just weren't right for eachother.

Just Talk to her. And If you wanna make her to feel comfortable with you, you cant talk her about this ohter girl(fictional) that you might like (It may sound lame, but at least she wont feel like uncomfortable).

Dr. Leepay,
I’ve had some great times on smosh, though lately I feel like i’m being used.
Every time I log on smosh I get like 3,000 private messages about “Give me a Sig” and “it’s been a whole 5 seconds ... WHERE’S MY SIG!?!” It’s driving me nuts.
I look down at the request a signature thread and I see millions of signatures I have to make, I sigh, though I know people like my signatures. And I was happy that I may have finally won a SOTW, and frankly that’s all I ever wanted on smosh. But exiss won ... maybe it’s this and survivor but the point is
Should I just quit smosh?
It truly takes a long time to make signatures, though would people actually miss me? I know me leaving could have some effects on smosh too, (example: Signature Request thread closed). Please give me a true answer. I’ve been wondering about this for a while.

Dude can you please let me have my own thread? If you guys think his advice is better then go ahead and ask him. I'll ask an mod to change the name of the thread.



I know I'd miss you. You're a cool guy and you are nice to people. I seriously think people need to learn t make their own sigs though. If you're friends with someone you can make them a sig if they want but yea close the sig request thread because it sucks for you to have to make so many sigs like that. Just tell people you are retiring the thread. No on will hold it against you. You've already done enough. You're in my hall of fame... and sorry for making people think you fucked up taht SOTW thread you made. It was my fault. Don't leave. You probably deserve to be on Survivor more than I do.

Thanks leepay, I kinda fucked up my servivor application too, and I was talking about the current SOTW but thanks anyway. I'll stay, and i'll consider the idea of closing the thread.
It's also kinda hard living in the shadow of Jaguar, i'm a good sig maker though i'm allways being compared to jaguar.

Kay thanks. That's really helpful.

NP
I'm going out for the night guys. It's my dad's birthday. I will send in my picture for Smosh Survivor after. I'm pretty sure I'll be here long before JT is gone though.

hmm now if your offering people help should you ask them to at least pm you... if they dont want to say it here?

It could be something embarrasing they dont want to share with anyone else..

Oh if anyone wants help if leepay is busy you can always ask me... im like the mother of all my mates... they all come to me for advice and i have managed to make them all happy so far.
Not failed at anything really... i had a few of my mates telling they was goin to commit suicide... which didnt happen due to me having a 'talk' with them

Apparently i have a way with words >.> i dun understand how though :S

well. Since my Consult Room was closed I'll give my advice every now and then.

Ok. there's a simple answer to your problem. Stop making people sigs. then they won't ask anymore.

And you aren't the only one that makes sigs, so I think the Make Me a Sig thread will stay.

We should have like a mentor group on here

like the people to go to if you have a problem, could work?

I like that idea, and I'd love to help anyone in need

As far as I know, rodro made about 3, and jaguar made 1. No offense.

Hmm well thats entirely upto those willing to actually take post as one... i would gladly be one.

I just love sorting out peoples issues... but its up for debate

It burns when I pee

Butch, you're not FORCED to make sigs, I deny people, you need to learn to say no.

/counseller.

Go to your gp.

Butch if you dont want to make a sig for someone just simply turn round and say no... like rko said you aint being forced to... i asked you for my sig.. which im happy with... well thrilled with... but atm im still gettin used to using photoshop... once im used to it ill be making my own..

It's simple really.. Your going through what is known as in Psychological terms as complience (Yielding to group pressure) even though it isnt really a group pressure... your gettin request from people and finding it hard to say no... another term aswell would be... Reciprocity i think it is... either that or ingratiation... You have already comiited yourself so therefore you finding it hard to say no... Try defying a little... Saying no to a simple request.

I take Psychology at college so yeah all this psychological knowledge is circling my head i love it.

Key term for this would be Obedience to authority... even though we probably dont have any form of higher status than you.

What do you think I'm doing. I'm not kidding around about this. If you guys have any problems come talk to me.

Hot.


Haha kidding, but really, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not like your the first girl to get drunk and make out with a girl.

damn people taking over my thread...



People have PM'ed me. Thanks for offering to pick up the work when I'm gone though. That would be cool. If I'm not around you can help people out. I'll catch up when I get back. Rodro you can do taht too. I just want you to do what you did before claiming everyone for yourself when I was clearly here giving my answers.