6 Crazy Hard Playstation Trophies and X-Box Achievements
There's something about Sony's Trophies and Microsoft's Achievement points that can make playing games really grueling and ultimately more aggravating than fun. And yet, we're all still going after those Platinums, trying to prove that we can. After all, as Kevin Butler, that weird PlayStation fake executive/ mascot, once put it, gaming is about "staying up until 3am to earn a trophy that isn't real, but is." Here are the six hardest Trophies and Achievements. Full disclosure: I haven't gotten any of these, because I am a reasonable person.
"Seven Day Survivor" from Dead Rising
You have to survive for seven days straight in Dead Rising's Infinity Mode to pop these Achievements. But the player character, Frank West, also needs to eat in that time, so you can't just leave your console on all day and watch Netflix. No no, you've got to be AWARE of someone else's needs for around 14 real-life hours. This is basically what would happen if The Walking Dead did that story every sitcom does where the main character has to watch a bag of flour as if it were a baby. Which is to say, dumb. JUST LIKE EVERY EPISODE OF THE WALKING DEAD.
Seriously, why is that show so popular? I accidentally stepped on my Playstation controller while Resident Evil 2 was on and in that moment Leon was acting more believably in a zombie apocalypse than any of those Walking Dead characters ever have.
"Seriously 2.0" from Gears of War 2
You have to kill one hundred thousand enemies to get these Achievement points. One. Hundred. Thousand. That means you've devastated at least two hundred thousand parents. I know, not every locust you killed had two living parents, but some of them probably have three parents. I mean, maybe. I don't know how Locusts reproduce and frankly, I don't want to know. If you're so invested in how Locust reproduction works, why not go read a BOOK about them instead of CHAINSAWING ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND OF THEM TO DEATH all the time?
"Bladder of Steel" from Rock Band 2
To get this achievement, you have to go through the Endless Playlist on Rock Band 2 without pausing the game. This will take you roughly six hours and fifteen minutes of STRAIGHT Rock Banding. Do you know what you could do in six hours? Ernest Hemingway wrote The Sun Also Rises in six hours and fifteen minutes! I mean, he didn't, but I'm sure that after six hours and fifteen minutes he had a pretty good start on it.
"XXL" from Fight Night Round 4
To get the XXL achievement, you have to win the World Championship belt. Online. That means you have to be THE BEST Fight Night Round 4 player IN THE WORLD on the online leaderboards. Do you know how many people are the BEST in the world at something? Like, ten. And most of them are the best in the world at being something dumb, like catching quarters off their elbows or sudoku.
Any multiplayer trophy from Tomb Raider
These trophies and achievements are hard to get just because ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WILL EVER PLAY TOMB RAIDER'S MULTIPLAYER. I mean, for as likely as it is that you would even THINK to play the multiplayer in Tomb Raider, there might as well be a trophy for pulling a tiger out of the air in Dr. Mario. It doesn't even make SENSE, does it?
"In Memoriam Petruccio" from Assassin's Creed 2
So, Ezio's little brother dies, and to memorialize him, you spend hours and hours running around Rome looking for feathers? Yeah, that's something we all hope to do. Annoy our family members after we die. That's why the only thing I'm leaving my friends in my will are treasure maps that ostensibly lead to my untold fortunes but really just take them to various Burger Kings around the city. That's right! You go to Hell, people I love!
What's the craziest trophy or achievement you've ever attained? Let me know on Twitter at @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!