10 Albums That Would Suck If The Artists Used Their Real Names

Some of the most important music ever has been written by geeks, dweebs and geeky dweebs who were picked on, beat up and probably forced to drink their own pee by a locker room bully at some point simply based on one thing: their awful names. But they persisted, they survived. But not before changing these embarrassing names. Observe:

 

10. Flo Rida

Tramar Dillard was probably that geeky teenager who has a year pass to Disney World and goes everyday by himself riding the teacups alone.

 

9. Vanilla Ice

Robert Van Winkle sounds like the town drunk with a long beard who sleeps in an empty refrigerator box.

 

8. George Michael

Georgios Panayiotou was the fat foreign exchange student in class who sits up front eating odd unappealing looking salt-water taffy all day.

 

7. Akon

Aliaune Damala Bouga sounds like the leader of an alien race who demands to speak to the President.

 

6. Adam Ant

Stuart Leslie Goddard was the lead in every play and musical from 1st thru 12th grade.

 

5. Bob Dylan

Robert Zimmerman sounds like a type of lawyer you’d need to hire if you are found burying a body and you are clearly guilty.

 

4. Ice Cube

O’Shea Jackson?! What if a leprechaun had a baby with the 7th U.S. President.

 

3. Freddie Mercury

Farookh Bulsara ran illegal dogfight gambling in the slums of Kolkata.

 

2. Snoop Dogg

Cordazar Calvin Broadus sounds like the alien sidekick to Aliaune Damala Bouga. Will Smith would blow up their mothership.

 

1. Lady Gaga

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germonatta sounds like the scientific name for a germ found in moldy drinking fountains.

What other albums would suck if the artists used their real names? Let's discuss in the comments below!

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