10 Awesome Board Game Ideas
So I was having a lazy Sunday board game night with my friend and I started to wonder if there have ever been any games that were created but never ended up in stores. So I did some heavy googling, and your boy @danborrelli managed to find 10 awesome board game ideas that never saw the light of day but should have. So here ya go...
10. WHOSE FAULT IS IT?
The hit party game where a fake fight between a bf and gf is read allowed and the players have to argue over who’s at fault. Great for couples night and pre-divorce parties! Nothing makes a night at home feel more like a night out than the “cocktails and exes bonus round.” The winner is the last one to apologize.
9. HEARD OF IT!
A game where only the hippest stand a chance. You read a fact or quote from an article on the internet and the first person to chime in smugly and say they knew that already gets a point. The New York Times “Headlines Only” pack is great for beginners. While more experienced players can enjoy the reddit and pitchfork editions. Heard of It sells for only $19.99 at Walmart, but you don’t support that corporate vampire, so you’ll have to wait for a link on Pirate Bay.
8. SETTLERS OF KENTUCKY
The newest name in strategy gaming. This game is amazing. It’s like Settlers of Catan, except instead of trading resources and using knights, everyone is a miner. You have to work together with your fellow settlers to protect your area from people with college degrees. In SoK, there’s no strategy to win because that’s up to Jesus and you will be too busy worrying about getting into Heaven, young man. Pro tip: the more Amurrcan flag bumper stickers you accumulate the more guns you can buy. You don’t actually use the guns in the game but that’s nobody’s business because it’s your right as a citizen to have them! Expansion packs include; Settlers of Kentucky: They Took our Jobs, Settlers of Kentucky: Protection from Turrrists Edition, and Settlers of Kentucky: Protection from Turrrists 5-6 player expansion.
7. AXE-ARM MAN STARFIGHTER/(FORMER) MMA CHAMPION GUY
A game where players compete as different versions of Axe-Arm Man Starfighter/(former)MMA Champion Guy to rid the world of evil. it’s like clue, kinda. Except when you think you know who the killer is you chop his head off. And you never find out if you were right or wrong because the justice system on Axe-Arm Man Starfight/(former)MMA Champion Guy’s planet is so corrupt that true justice is impossible. And you have to rely on the fact that deep down your gut instinct was correct and you have really rid the world of evil, not contributed to it yourself.
6. WHAT’S IN THE WALLET
A live action RPG where you and your friends each roll dice to determine certain stats; then go out and obtain as many wallets from strangers as possible. Different player types use different weapons/strategies and in the end, whoever has collected the most cash/gift cards wins. Every year there is a world championship held in Boston and the winner gets a job working with Bank of America.
5. GO FISH
Somebody asks you your opinion on something and if you like it they get a card, if not, you tell them to go fish. This game is terrible for couples. But your girlfriend will want to play it anyway.
4. I’M NOT A RACIST
A Fast-paced high energy fun fest where players compete to be the most diverse. Mini-games include; bragging about your black friend, mentioning Asian countries you’ve visited, and regaling conversations you had with your college’s cafeteria custodian.
3. GUNS AND ROSES CHRISTMAS MONOPOLY
Help G&R corporatize the north pole with ROCK in this modern twist on a classic game. This game was originally developed in 1993 but had to be scrapped after the inventor trashed a hotel room and did some weird stuff with a shark. In this take on Monopoly, all the property has been replaced with G&R hits and instead of houses, you build factories of elves. It’s almost like the writer game designer had two ideas that he wanted to include as separate blog posts games but only had room for one. Weird...
2. MAD MEN: THE GAME
This game is SO much fun that it’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Navigate your way through the 1960s by pitching and selling ad ideas to various clients. The bigger the client, the more points you get, the more old fashions you get, the more work you miss, the women you cheat on your wife with, the more you get pushed into your grave by the younger generation, the more crippling your addictions get, then death. Also you get wear awesome 3 piece suits and hats. What happened to formal hats? Men should wear more hats.
It’s like Life except going to college does even less for you and the more kids you have the more money you lose, instead of gain. All income is fixed for the duration of the game and that little car you ride around in breaks down every other turn. But at the end you still get to retire and complain about how the new generation has too much happiness. But remember, it’s just all one big game.
What do you think would make a killer board game? Let me know in the comments section below or by screaming at me @danborrelli