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10 Best Ways to Annoy Tourists
What do fall and summer have in common? Lots of tourists. (I lied about the fall part.) Anyway, if they piss you off as much as they piss me off, then there’s likely to be a lot of piss going around. Here’s the best way to bother them.
1. Photobomb them
You know what goes great with sunsets? Photobombing. It bothers tourists to no end when they look back at their photos and find some guy’s O-face behind their family portrait.
2. Tell them that a celebrity just walked past
“Hey! Is that Angelina Jolie?” (Tourists are always looking for Angelina Jolie.) “Aw, she just got into that car that you can’t see anymore...” (Side note: They’ll still tell their friends they saw Angelina Jolie.)
3. Give them directions to the airport
They’ll often ask you for local landmarks, and giving them bad directions is truly fun for the whole family. And nothing tells a tourist “You ain’t welcome in these here parts” like bad directions to the airport.
4. Recommend McDonald’s
Tourists are always looking for “local gems” and crap like that. Send ‘em to Mickey D’s.
5. Take pictures of them
Take out your phone camera and get obnoxiously close to them, then snap away and say, "These are gonna look great on Facebook!"
6. Talk to them using stereotypes
Ask them where they’re from. Alaska? Do you know who Paul Revere is? (Ehhem, Sarah Palin.) China? Are your favorite candies Mao or Laters? Canada? Eh?
7. Test their knowledge of the area
“Do you know why that street is called Olympic Blvd? Huh? Do you even know who the first mayor of LA was? Huh?” Me neither! There’s no better way to make tourists feel uncomfortable than making them feel like tourists.
8. Tell them their tour guide is lying
Go on one of those tour buses and tell the people sitting next to you that the guide is telling all lies. “This is definitely not the oldest tree in California!” “Angelina Jolie doesn’t live here! She lives in New York!”
9. Sell them rain ponchos
OK, it won’t annoy them, but you’ll make money. Tourists will buy rain ponchos no matter what the conditions of the weather, just like Gaga will always buy meat ponchos, no matter how hungry she is.
10. Repeatedly ask them if they like Smosh
“You don’t read Smosh? What’s wrong with you? Watch these videos on my iPhone! Isn’t it funny? Huh? Hmm?”
How do you bother tourists in your hometown?
Tell us in the comments below!
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68 Comments
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emii1999
5 weeks ago
ians got some nice underwear XD
gdobsession
5 weeks ago
I use #10 repeatedly. ALL THE TIME! It's just something that I'm natured to.
smoshannah
18 weeks ago
I always ask chinese people in Amsterdam if they know where you can buy some good drugs. The look on their faces is awesome cuz I'm a 14 year old girl XD
ThatGuyNamedBob
41 weeks ago
Lol pwn :3 -ThatGuyNamedBob :3
ThatGuyNamedBob
41 weeks ago
101, last 1 waz smosh boming :PPPPPPPPPPP -Angie
themaxt
41 weeks ago
I live in Honolulu (hawaii), so we get a LOT of tourists.
SmoshRocksTheEarth
41 weeks ago
Repetedly say "No it never rains here!"....Yeh im from th uk :(
Sock Muncher
46 weeks ago
I do the last one pleeenntty. heh heh heh...dont u woorryyyy...heh heh hheeeehhh.....
Sock Muncher
46 weeks ago
I do the last one pleeenntty. heh heh heh...dont u woorryyyy...heh heh hheeeehhh.....
jeremyaustin7
46 weeks ago
Haha i will be a tourist sooner or later, and i'll go definetly to America, and if people ask me about smosh, i could tell them anything about you guys, and im ARGENTINIAN. In the southest zone of ame
jeremyaustin7
46 weeks ago
Haha i will be a tourist sooner or later, and i'll go definetly to America, and if people ask me about smosh, i could tell them anything about you guys, and im ARGENTINIAN. In the southest zone of ame
jeremyaustin7
46 weeks ago
Haha i will be a tourist sooner or later, and i'll go definetly to America, and if people ask me about smosh, i could tell them anything about you guys, and im ARGENTINIAN. In the southest zone of ame
jeremyaustin7
46 weeks ago
Haha i will be a tourist sooner or later, and i'll go definetly to America, and if people ask me about smosh, i could tell them anything about you guys, and im ARGENTINIAN. In the southest zone of ame
jeremyaustin7
46 weeks ago
Haha i will be a tourist sooner or later, and i'll go definetly to America, and if people ask me about smosh, i could tell them anything about you guys, and im ARGENTINIAN. In the southest zone of ame
jeremyaustin7
46 weeks ago
Haha i will be a tourist sooner or later, and i'll go definetly to America, and if people ask me about smosh, i could tell them anything about you guys, and im ARGENTINIAN. In the southest zone of ame
mischadeolifant
46 weeks ago
Why should I?
everyone who comes to Amsterdam must be awesome!
mischadeolifant
46 weeks ago
Why should I?
everyone who comes to Amsterdam must be awesome!
mischadeolifant
46 weeks ago
Why should I?
everyone who comes to Amsterdam must by awesome!
mmspace24
46 weeks ago
I Indiana Jones reference I
V V
mmspace24
46 weeks ago
thats weird, in my home town tourist get chased to a small airplane by 1,000 half naked indians with spears, but these are good two...
Soffieee
46 weeks ago
in my hometown we annoy tourists by having earthquakes come to think of it it annoys locals too it certainly annoys me
Soffieee
46 weeks ago
in my hometown we annoy tourists by having earthquakes come to think of it it annoys locals too it certainly annoys me
Soffieee
46 weeks ago
in my hometown we annoy tourists by having earthquakes come to think of it it annoys locals too it certainly annoys me
Nitrogannex
46 weeks ago
when someone asks me for directions I refer them to an imaginary friend 10 blocks away and then when they come back say I have no memory of them
goodbuyshopping
46 weeks ago
Nike Shoes =(b..r..a..n..d.)s.h.o.e.s.
Christian Louboutin boots
Moncler Dowm Jack
Clancee
46 weeks ago
Lol i should try photobombing next time :D
OfirLarsen
46 weeks ago
LOL. In Australia we feed them Vegemite.
side note: as an Aussie, I love it, But foriegners find it terribly distasteful. Shame. But f**king hilarious!!!
kimet
46 weeks ago
Tell them that if they keep walking down the river path, they'll reach this beautiful garden (Compost heaps on both ends XD)
ladysmith7
46 weeks ago
did you know america was originaly known as lower canada?
yep you were named after us. :P
ravenlyoko
46 weeks ago
I live in San Antonio, Texas. I always find that laser pointers are better on tourists than they are on cats.
Ufelldownhaha
46 weeks ago
Usually its the other way around. Damn tourists think were a "beautiful country". Dont gimme that crap dammit! You just stepped in hobo sh*t
Ufelldownhaha
46 weeks ago
Usually its the other way around. Damn tourists think were a "beautiful country". Dont gimme that crap dammit! You just stepped in hobo sh*t
zxc002
46 weeks ago
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KaraluvsAnthony
46 weeks ago
haha im goin to try these xD
YukiKurabayashi
46 weeks ago
I actually DO ask random people if they like Smosh xD
karicarmean
46 weeks ago
Firetruck! I wish I lived in a place that has a lot of tourists so I could do things things to them!
bubblesydney
46 weeks ago
I live near major amusement parks so on rides I always sit in the front and then I scream at random times so the people behind me start freaking out and screaming but nothing happening.....lol
Alexert376
47 weeks ago
I offer them candy off the road and say its a delicaly
aubreydee
47 weeks ago
I live in Las Vegas so my friends and I usually drive up and down the strip blasting music and screaming out our windows mean comments to the tourists :D
aubreydee
47 weeks ago
I live in Las Vegas so my friends and I usually drive up and down the strip blasting music and screaming out our windows mean comments to the tourists :D
Da Username
47 weeks ago
there isnt many tourists in our city this year, cuz it used to be Asians n' stuff, and since theres been a earthquake over there, they aint coming this time : /
UndeadNinja142
47 weeks ago
I live in Montana and we don't get that many tourists.
yay
UndeadNinja142
47 weeks ago
I live in Montana and we don't get that many tourists.
yay
lewok
47 weeks ago
i tell them i hate smosh and watch them nerdrage. that or world of warcraft
julia17
47 weeks ago
Haha! Edinburgh is full of tourists in August because of the festival. I think the rain ponchos bit will work because its always raining in Scotland :P and the weather is unpredictable here!!
julia17
47 weeks ago
Haha! Edinburgh is full of tourists in August because of the festival. I think the rain ponchos bit will work because its always raining in Scotland :P and the weather is unpredictable here!!
Wolftrot
47 weeks ago
Asking people if they have some really common item from their country is one of the best ones, I agree. I tried asking a bunch of people if they had forks in their country, it pissed them off so bad.
writter
47 weeks ago
first
writter
47 weeks ago
first
Skittles_red
47 weeks ago
I'm Canadian so I just repeatedly stay "eh?" all the time. Works every time