10 Douchiest Songs To Play On Acoustic Guitar In Public

An open letter, Dear Creepy frat guy at the party with the popped collar and Dexter eyes, You didn’t invent the D chord. Shut it. -@danborrelli Something that never seems to disappear as I get older is the prevalence of the annoying kid with an acoustic guitar at a party. I thought this would surely fade away as I graduated college and started doing more adultyish things like sleeping till noon and writing blog posts for the interwebs. There is a direct correlation between how much guitar you are playing in public vs. how much change you are sparing for. If it’s a lot to none, I don’t want to be your friend. The sad part is there are a lot of actual good, fun acoustic covers floating around the interwebs now (along with a lot of terrible ones).Many people remember the Karmin Flashing Lights but I prefer this kid’s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6OakFsYs_I And of course along with every good and every bad comes a few uglies.So I decided to put together a list of the 10 lamest to acoustically cover in public. Now take heed and get off the quad!

 

 

10. FIREWORK - KATY PERRY

You know your old when you start making the mom move of mispronouncing the names of popular trends (my mom calls Chipotle, Chip-ottel-y). I’ve been doing the same with this song, “Fireworks, fireworking, fireworkingfortheweekendoobladee.” However I’ve come to realize it’s one, singular firework. ONE, like the number of people who should be playing this song in public. It’s impossible to hit those high notes and painful to watch someone try. Especially when they don’t have 95 computers drowning them out.

 

9. BABY – JUSTIN BIEBER

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Fact – The girls that scream for Justin Bieber will not scream for you just cause you’re playing his music. Fact – those girls are 12 anyway and that’s just creepy. Fact – The Brontosaurus never existed; it was a mix up of two separate skeletons. Thus ruining The Land Before Time nostalgia I was desperately holding on to. The point is, knock it off. Nobody wants to listen to this song on the radio let alone when they’re trying to have a good time. Let this one go people.

 

8. IRIS – GOO GOO DOLLS

No. Stop it. Stop it. I will turn this blog around. The only thing worse than covering Bieber is covering Johnny Rzeznik, who is like if Justin Bieber and Bon Jovi had a baby that was born at age 36 and who’s job it was to ruin 90s music. So STOP IT!

 

7. HEY YA – OUTKAST

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This is one of the funnest most super funnest songs ever bro. My favorite part is the part where Outcast sings it and you don’t. The white boy cover of this song has gotten out of control. It was fun when it first happened in 04 but now it must please come to an end.

 

6. FAST CAR – TRACY CHAPMAN

You’re killin me smalls. This is the anthem of the “Hey I’m 38 come see my band at The Coffee Bean this Thursday. We’re selling cassette tapes in the lobby. Monika Lewinski. Friends.” I LOVE how bad this song is and the fact that I get Nam flashbacks to being 7 and my dad blasting it on the radio. So please let this one die guys…

 

5. GOOD RIDDANCE – GREEN DAY

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You’ve done it. We’ve all done it. It really is a cool song and I LOVE how it’s become “that” song to annoy people with. That’s exactly what Green Day wanted. Although I’m sure they’re over it now though since by now their eyes probably look like the two cartoon $ $ Scrooge McDuck had.

 

4. FIREFLIES – OWL CITY

Oh man I LOVE Owl City. You what the best thing in the world is? Turrable music your girlfriend loves and makes you listen to. They’re the Sex and the City of music and need to be stopped. The only thing worse than the original is watching a obnoxious 14-year-olds try to play an acoustic cover. We are the 99% and this needs to stop!

 

3. I LOVE COLLEGE – ASHER ROTH

Then stop ruining it for everyone else! This song is the worst. It’s our generations Margaritaville. Nobody likes it unless they’re on something and they live in the Florida. Please stop.

 

2. WONDERWALL - OASIS

The Citizen Kane of awful and overplayed acoustic covers. This song single handedly launched Capo sales through the roof and made way for a real life meme; the obnoxious frat kid who knows one song he uses to try and impress girls. This song will stop being played at parties, no matter how hard we all petition. We just have to sit back and accept that our future is ruined.

 

1. ANY SONG BY ADELE

(Disclaimer: The fact that the girl in this video is a kid doesn’t make me a jerk. Nor does it excuse the fact that her father is turrable). Adele has one of those voices that people can’t emulate. I really don’t envy people in high school theater right now. Between Glee and Adele, the singing auditions must be brutal to sit through. So please leave Adele alone all you aspiring Jason Mrazes, you can’t do it justice. There isn’t a recipe you can follow for this stuff so please get off my youtube, close your dorm room window, exit the party, and let the ipod do the work.

 

What covers annoy you? Or do you think these were actually pretty good and this Borrelli guy’s a jerk? Let me know in the comments section below or by tweeting at me @danborrelli

 

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