10 Historical Figures I Would Totally Date

Just think about it: there must have been some super hunky dude who taught the super hunky dude that later inspired the super hunky dude you’re currently crushing on (and so on, and so forth). The first super hunky dudes are often lost in History textbooks and though they may be credited for their amazing feats they accomplished during their lifetime, their physical hotness is rarely mentioned... Until now!

 

10. Alexander the Great

Though I’m sure upon meeting him at some Macedonian bar in his hometown I’d scoff at his name, “Wow - the Great? Really guy? You’re that confident?” But after he described the empire that he just built to me, and showed me snapshots of a mosaic portrait he just had done of himself, I’d be head over heels in love!

 

9. Albert Einstein

Though Einstein would have most likely been too busy to be my full-time boyfriend, something tells me I wouldn’t mind that at all. I’m also sure he could tell a good street joke, I mean - look at that hair? That is the hair for people who tell good street jokes.

 

8. George Gershwin

I’d probably go over to Gershwin’s house for the first time and he would try and seduce me with the best jazz I have ever heard playing on a phonograph in the background. This move would backfire when I would eventually become way more invested in the music than him.

 

7. Leonardo da Vinci

Oh artists. Always creating. Yes, making plans that involve a watch with da Vinci would probably be counter-intuitive, but when he would show up for our dates... I’m sure a sketch of me would be involved, and I can deal with that. Look at this guy! He's beautiful!

 

6. Plato

Plato seems to be the only guy I could sincerely say, “Tell me about the world, Plato?” and he wouldn’t respond sarcastically. Not to mention he looks like an ancient Zach Galifianakis! Who wouldn't want a piece of that action!?

 

5. Abraham Lincoln

Portrait of a young Abe Lincoln.

The only thing that would make Lincoln more bad ass than he already is... would be if he was totally ripped underneath his dark suits. Which brings me to thinking, there hasn’t been any evidence saying that he wasn't ripped. Think about it.

 

4. Alexander Graham Bell

This sexy guy invented the telephone, so not calling you on it when he promises would just be a cruel twist of irony.

 

3. JFK

Fashion wasn’t the only reason why the entire nation desperately wished they could be Jackie O.

 

2. William Shakespeare

This man invented romance. Something tells me that the poets, artists, and thespians of the world would be mumbling around saying, “Sup” to their possible loves if it weren’t for his super romantic prose.

 

1. Jesse James

My date with Old West bad boy Jesse James would probably include a brief romantic chat before running off via horse. From the outside it would look like we were running from the law, but really it would just be his natural reaction after I informed him what his distant relative of the same name was up to in the present.

What historical figures would you date if you had the chance? Let's talk about it below!

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