10 Hollywood Duos I'd Love To See In A Buddy Cop Movie
There’s nothing I love more than a good buddy-cop film. Ya know what, doesn’t even have to be good. That’s the beauty of buddy-cop films, Kevin Smith can make one and it still doesn’t ruin it for me. So this week I decided to put together a list of the 10 buddy-cop duos I most want to see. Hopefully Hollywood will LISTEN this time; unlike my pitch for the Truman Show sequel. Check them out and let me know what buddy cop movie you want to see by tweeting at me @danborrelli
10. THE ROCK AND AZIZ ANSARI
Everything about this would be awesome. You wouldn’t even have to make these guys play characters. Just let them be The Rock and Aziz Ansari. Instant classic! They don’t have to do any policey stuff (technical term) either; they’d just have to banter for 90 minutes. Although you would totally need a scene where The Rock chucks Aziz Ansari with one hand at a bad guy who is trying to escape. He could have a one liner afterwards like, “I believe I can fly, bitch!” Then punches him! Oh, and they’d also wear matching jackets.
9. BRAD PITT AND ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
Brad Pitt is a smooth talking, take-no-crap alpha male cop who gets assigned the DA’s stupid brother-in-law as his partner. “Hey, this is ground control to Major Hollywood. Commencing bromance…engines on.” What’s great about both these guys is that you wouldn’t, for a minute, actually believe they were cops. So the plot could be crazy. Aliens, zombies, Maria Carey alien zombies; doesn’t matter. All that matters is stuff blows up and they sound witty.
8. SYLVESTER STALLONE AND CHRIS PINE
Hear me out. Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise, Sylvester Stallone; they’re getting old. And Chris Pine seems to be next in line to take over the crappy-action-McG-movie-leads that will soon be left vacant. And to have him learn the ropes from the wise, old, well-spoken Stallone, would be ideal. The only thing that would make this movie better is if Mickey Rourke played the villain. Cause that would make ANY movie better (RE: Tangled).
7. DANNY GLOVER AND DONALD GLOVER
Talk about a killer old guy/young guy dynamic. These two would make great cops. Especially since Donald Glover doing his signature yell-crying the second he first fires a gun would be HILARIOUS! And it would be cool to see Danny Glover do something that doesn’t involving dropping an elephant out of a plane (elephant = his career). Plus Donald Glover should have been Spiderman, the least we can do is let this guy be a buddy-cop. I mean come on Amurrca we have a black president for Christ sake. Actually…
6. BARACK OBAMA AND JOE BIDEN
One’s a crazy old man with delusions of grandeur; the other is a renegade young hot shot who plays by his own rules. See, I’d set this one up like Top Gun. Biden is a crazy, Mr. Miyagi, type police trainer who is trying to teach the renegade, hot-shot Obama how to be a real cop. They keep butting heads until it comes time to solve a major crime like, oh, say, I don’t know…maybe KILLING FREAKIN OSAMA BIN LADEN! This movie already has a 99% on Rotten tomatoes cause it’s too cool for 100, bitch!
5. TOM AND COLIN HANKS
How have these two never done a movie together? You have the greatest comedy actor of his generation, and his DAD. I mean come on people this movie writes itself. There can be tons of Tom Hanks screaming outdoors scenes, as well as plenty of Colin Hanks being creepy towards women moments. The whole thing would make a great summer blockbuster so long as nobody tells Julia Roberts.
4. THE OLD SPICE GUY AND THE DOS EQUIS GUY
Isaiah Mustafa + The Most Interesting Man in the World make Tango and Cash look like giggling school girls. These guys are everything that is manly about being manly. And what better duo would be suited to take down crime in New York City? They get ladies, bust bad guys, and crack amazing one-liners. “Look at you, now at me, now back at you; you’re under arrest!”
3. NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON AND RON PAUL
Here you have one of the world’s leading experts on science, and a set-in-his-ways super Christian. Let the hilarity ensue! What’s better than watching two people argue over whether or not there was a conscious design to our being and the relationship between spirit and logic? All while busting a crack ring! We could totally see Tyson go full Eddie Murphy in this too and start taking on little character roles to stay under cover, like a southern belle or something. “Oh my goodness, bless my eyes…which are coincidentally made of stardust.”
2. KRISTEN WIIG AND MELISSA MCCARTHY
Who wouldn’t watch this movie!? Shut up, you would. It’d be awesome. Who says two badass cops have to be men? Cause I’m pretty sure these two ladies would take the genre to a whole new level of kick ass. It could be a huge action movie; exploding cars, car chases, car wrecks, Cars 2 references. And Wiig/McCarthy can totally pull off the over the top cop roles. I’m just saying, if you want to make a lot of money, invent Facebook. If you want to make even more money, make this.
1. Will Smith And Jeff Goldblum
Okay so they’re making ID4-2, awesome. But I’m still jonesin’ for a little Smith/Goldblum action. Forget aliens, let these guys walk the beat in Atlanta and bust small time criminals. Will Smith can remind Jeff Goldblum that he’s neurotic and needs to be smoother with women. And Goldblum can tell Smith he’s a hothead who needs to think things through. MAN what a duo. Give the aliens a virus and we can call this one el finito mis compadres.
What’s your favorite buddy cop movie? Let me know in the comments below.