10 Jobs Muppets Could Take If (When) Show Business Doesn't Work Out

The new Muppets movie suggests that, unfortunately, time has passed the Muppets by. Yes they rally and yes they try to put on a show, but no career lasts forever; just ask the kids from Voltron or George Bush Sr. So, in the interest of preparing for their financial future, I would like to suggest some career choices the Muppets could undertake if (when) show business is no longer viable.

 

Gonzo

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As a daredevil, Gonzo should go right to the people. A street performer eating watever bugs he finds or doing front handsprings through traffic would probably make a ton of money if he had an empty guitar case.

 

Rowlf

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Rowlf would serve as a good spokesman for PETA. I mean, would you ever eat another animal again if there was even a slight chance that it could play the piano?

 

Beaker

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Since his background in science makes him an "expert" and he literally says the same thing over and over again, Beaker would be an excellent analyst for a 24 hour news channel.

 

Fozzy Bear

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Fozzy could join the writing staff of Two and a Half Men and freshen up their material a little bit.

 

Kermit

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With his quiet demeanor and soothing voice, Kermit could become an anger management councelor and lead furious men in a low-key, reasonable discussion of their feelings.

 

Animal

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Animal would be the perfect guy to work the Taco Bell drive-thru at 1 am. "Dude, that guy was so rad!" idiot teenagers who just got their driver's license will exclaim every Friday night.

 

Miss Piggy

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You know those middle managers at huge corporations who love bossing people around but aren't smart enough to have great ideas themselves? Yeah, they WORSHIP Miss Piggy. She's like their template. Miss Piggy slides into that role perfectly.

 

Swedish Chef

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The Swedish Chef would serve as a good spokesman for whatever the opposite of PETA is. I mean, would you ever do anything besides eat animals if there was even a slight chance that cooking them was so funny?

 

Sam the Eagle

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Since Sam the Eagle hates everything, maybe he should get a job as a film critic. If so many of them can give Breaking Dawn a bad review, then movie critics must hate everything ever in the world.

 

Jason Segel

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He basically counts as a Muppet at this point in his life. I think he would make an excellent body pillow for an eccentric billionaire.

What careers would you suggest for the Muppets? Let them know in the comments!

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