10 Lamest Video Games of All Time
What makes a game lame? Bad programming and design, bugs, broken stuff and sheer stupidity. But even if the game functions well, sometimes the concepts are so bad that even the most brilliant production can’t redeem it. We proudly present the 10 lamest games ever invented.
10. Toilet Tycoon
Tycoon games are almost always terrible, but Toilet Tycoon breaks records for sheer awfulness. The concept is so bad it’s almost funny: You’re running your own bathroom empire, outfitting each one with toilet seats, sinks and condom machines. What were the developers thinking? Who would want to do this IRL, let alone in a game?
Okay, this game may be a cult classic, but the premise is so stupid that Paperboy definitely deserves to be on this list. The object of the game is delivering papers, “battling” neighbors, dogs and other obstacles to cover your route. Yawn. What’s even worse is that this game is really difficult and no fun whatsoever.
8. Chicken Shoot
Flash games can be fun, but they seldom translate to good computer games. Chicken Shoot is no exception. Panned by just about every game review site in existence, this lame game involves shooting giant chickens. And that’s about it. What fun!
7. Wild Woody
The name is fantastic, but that’s where the fun ends. First off, why would anyone want to play a game about pencils? The idea is to save the world by dislodging totem heads and stacking them up. You kill your enemies by erasing them. As if this game weren’t lame enough already, your “special power” is drawing things for no particular purpose.
6. Bass Avenger
As if bass fishing weren’t boring enough, the game itself is not only stupid, but incredibly dull. Bass take revenge on the fisherman by throwing “fun” objects like beer, pizza and bras at the shore to lure him into leaving them alone. The fisherman has to swim to shore to retrieve these “treasures.” Since the fisher is a man, we have to wonder why he’d want a bra…perhaps he’s a cross-dresser?
5. Irritating Stick
The name of this game is a warning: it’s irritating. Based on the popular Japanese game show Dengeki Iraira Bou, Irritating Stick is a carnival game that involves moving a spinning stick through mazes without touching the edges so you don’t get zapped. The big question: How did the show become so popular that it inspired a PlayStation game?
4. Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom
You might think this game’s name is the stupidest thing about it, but you would be wrong. Your character is the knight Sir Cucumber, who’s been challenged by King Broccoli to defeat the evil Minister Pumpkin and rescue Princess Tomato, imprisoned in the Zucchini Mountains. We’re most curious about the “dump” function…does it help Sir Cucumber regulate his bowel movements?
3. Where’s Waldo?
The books are kind of cool (for five-year-olds), but the game is totally ridiculous. The aim is the same as the books: find Waldo. Unfortunately the graphics are so terrible that it’s nearly impossible to distinguish him from the rest of the crap on the screen. Oh yeah, Waldo has magical glasses. Whoop dee doo.
2. Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust
The name of this game says it all: It’s a total bust. The object is for a movie studio go-fer to handle important duties—like getting coffee—while trying to discover the identity of the traitor who’s leaking movie ideas to competing studios. Hailed by every game review as the worst game ever, Leisure Suit Larry is repetitive, mindless and humorless, with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Even Amazon, which tries to sell the game, hated it.
1. Yo! Noid
Created by the marketing department at Domino’s Pizza, Yo! Noid is even worse than the company’s product. The Noid uses a non-magical yo-yo to save New York City from various enemies. At the end of a level, the Noid must win a pizza-eating contest to move on. Not only is this game incredibly lame, it’s also extremely difficult. The Noid has no energy, protective gear or super powers, so just about anything can kill him. Leisure Suit Larry may technically be the lamest game ever, but we think Yo! Noid deserves the #1 spot.
Did we miss any truly heinous games? Tell us about them in the comments.