10 Least Impressive Guinness World Records: Food Edition
The Guinness Book Of World Records is supposed to be a list of the greatest achievements of our society. I think they've gotten a little bit lax on what they let in to the book. The Guiness Book Of World Records will one day be passed around among the last surviving humans after the apocalpyse to help them remember how great we were before the aliens showed up. Don't ruin the record book with a bunch of pointless crap! Here are the the least impressive food world records.
Most Expensive Pizza
It's not really an accomplishment to sell the most expensive of something. This pizza is available at Steveston Pizza in Canada for $450. It's so expensive because it has a bunch of rare seafood on it. That's enough to by 90 Hot N Ready pizzas from Little Caesars. I'll take the 90 pizzas over gross monsters that live in their own poop any day. Those pizzas would fuel the greatest Dungeons and Dragons campaign of all time.
Most People Making Sandwiches Simultaneously
This record was set when 1,363 people in Dallas, TX all made sandwiches together in the same hotel. These people just slapped some meat and cheese on some bread and called it a sandwich. I don't think Guinness should count any sandwich that takes less than an hour to make. I consider sandwich making to be an art. They did end up making over 100,000 sandwiches to feed the homeless so that part is impressive.
Most Big Macs Consumed
No one has ever loved a food as much as Don Gorske loves Big Macs. In his life, he has eaten over 25,000 Big Macs, and has kept every receipt. Some people do really crazy things because they want to get in the Guinness Book Of World Records. Not Don. He just loves Big Macs. Don's passion is really inspiring. He's inspired me to finally commit to my one true love: pizza.
Largest Serving Of Mashed Potato
It took 200 French people to make a vat of mashed potatoes that weighed 2,297 lbs. It's not hard to make mashed potatoes. It is hard to eat that much mashed potatoes. Anyone that could down that much mashed potatoes would be a hero to me.
Largest Bread Consumption Per Capita
For some reason the Guinness Book of World Records has decided to give Turkey the award for the country that eats the most bread per person. When they won that honor, it was estimated that people from Turkey would eat three times their own weight in bread every year. That's nothing. I eat three times my own weight in bread in one trip to Olive Garden. They rue the day they ever offered free breadsticks. I've put 4 Olive Gardens out of business.
Most People Eating Breakfast In Bed
It only took 289 Australians to break this record. Everyone loves breakfast food. I think I could get at least a thousand people together if they were getting some free eggs and bacon. I've done some horrible things for a Moons Over My Hammy.
Fastest Sandwich Made Using Feet
There's an old saying that I like to ponder on. If someone makes a sandwich with their feet and no one will eat it, is it food? I think the answer is no. No one's going to eat anything that anyone made with their feet.
Fastest Time To Drink A Bottle Of Ketchup
The Ketchup Chugging World Champion is a German who drank a bottle of ketchup in 32 seconds. I love ketchup more then the average person. I'll put it on anything - eggs, ice cream, peanut butter sandwiches. It's the perfect condiment. No one should ever chug an entire bottle of ketchup. That should be illegal.
Longest Line Of Hot Dogs
There are a ton of Longest Line World Records and I think they're all crap. Who cares if someone can put 1,500 hot dogs in a single line. If you're not making it or eating it, then you shouldn't be able to get a record for it. There are also records for long lines of sandwiches, pizzas, tacos, and a bunch of other foods. I think those records should all be ripped from the record book.
Most Milkshake Dispensed From The Nose
This is super nasty.
Do you think you could break any of these food records? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!