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10 Least Sexy Celebs of 2010

And so ends another fabulous year, a year filled with great albums (Kanye West, The Black Keys, Chromeo), great movies (Scott Pilgrim FTW), and even greater celebrities (Andrew Garfield wins my vote as the 2010 stand-out of the year). However, not everything can be all brooding eyebrows and rockin’ soundtracks, sometimes the year can bring you things (or in this case, people) you may not have particularly asked for. For that there’s always the “Least Sexy of 2010” lists to fall back on, here’s my picks for the least delectable, least likely hook-ups I would ever want to kiss up on.

10. Snooki

Snooki has established herself not only as a pseudo-celebrity in the year 2010, but as a social parasite, proving that no guido is safe in her destructive path. She has successfully done what was previously thought to be impossible: made Troll novelty dolls look sexy by comparison.

9. Spencer Pratt

Rumor has it, if you stare into Spencer’s eyes for longer than 5 seconds you’ll see the son of Satan himself staring back at you. If that isn’t enough to turn you off to his deceptive appeal, then surely his flesh-colored beard will act as the nail in the “sexy” coffin for you.

8. Joy Behar

I’m not sure what’s exactly the cherry on top on this unsexy slice of pie: the grating New Yorker accent, the obnoxiously bright red poof of hair on top of her head or just simply Joy herself. Dating her is like dating your Mother’s best friend who only comes around to chime in whenever you screw up.

7. Buddy Valastro

Buddy, the star of TLC’s “Cake Boss” has baffled millions of TV fans by having a smoking hot wife. This move defies science and everything I thought holy when it came to sexual attraction. Buddy is about as attractive Chef Boyardee, as appealing as Super Mario and the worst part is that he doesn’t look like he’s going away anytime soon.

6. Madonna

Sure, the Material Girl redefined modern beauty in a lot of ways, but have you seen her lately? Her arms look like they subsist entirely on steroids, and her face has not shown a natural wrinkle in decades. If that’s not enough to shock you, I’m pretty sure she could break you in half before the date even starts, I rest my case.

5. Donald Trump

Words cannot describe how unsexy this man is, but I’ll try: The comb-over, the pasty white skin that borders on transparency, the not-so-sexy pout. Usually when a man has any one of these items it’s enough of a dealbreaker, but the Donald’s always been an over-achiever.

4. Martha Stewart

If earth-shatteringly scary and powerful is a big enough turn-on for you, then you need not read any more. If you’re a normal human being, then I think it goes without saying that Martha Stewart alone is about as sexy as a bedazzled Christmas sweater.

3. Mickey Rourke

When your face has a “before reconstructive facial surgery” timeline in a post-surgery era, you’ve got a problem. Mickey should have followed the adage of, “when it’s not broke - don’t fix it” because as you can see, you can in fact ruin perfection.

2. Amy Winehouse

There are few people that can illicit groans of disgust with just a simple lifting of your ribbed tank top, Amy Winehouse is one of them. If you are attracted to walking skeletons with crack acne (crack’ne for short) then go for it - the rest of the world are fine staying as far away from her as possible.

1. The Situation

It’s been scientifically proven that too much sexy cancels out all forms of sexy in a singe person, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is living proof of this. My guess is his constant showing and telling of his magical abs is just a way to distract the world from his lack of personality.

Can you think of any celebrities that are even less sexy than this? Tell us in the comments!

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Tags: 2010, celeb, least, list, sexy, top