10 Most Bizarre Hand Crafted Gifts

They say it’s the thought that counts, but whoever declared that surely didn’t have a Great Aunt who obsessively knit embarrassing Christmas sweaters, or an Uncle who loved to piece together pine cones in the shape of the baby Jesus.

Luckily we live in the electronic age where we can “ooh,” “ahh,” and cringe over other people’s gift-receiving misfortune. I’ve scoured the internet to bring you some buttugly holiday gifts that I hope you don't get this holiday season.

 

1. Queen Princess Wall Tiara

I don’t mean to profile, but whoever thought of this was most likely a dude. Just imagine, a man who works hard and is often distanced from his daughter. In an effort to win her affection and relate to her, he crafts together a mirror that’ll always make her feel like “Daddy’s Little Princess.” Only this daughter is in college, and her Dad mails it to her dorm. And everyone laughs. That daughter was me.

 

2. The Ugliest Doll Known To Man

This hideous hand crafted treasure can be delivered to you just in time to give it to your special someone for Christmas for the discount price of $299.00.

 

3. Pizza Roll Plastic Guinea Pig

“Moooom, what are you doing? I meant to throw away that old bag of Pizza Rolls. Can’t you use, like real art materials to impress your Book Club on Crafts Night? This is embarrassing. At least wash the melted cheese off.”

 

4. Party Sweater

I’m not sure what came first, making a sweater for a party, or going to a party getting whacked out on Red Bull and then deciding to crochet this sweater. More importantly, where can I get that Disco Pterodactyl head? I need it for my collection.

 

5. Christmas Nativity Meerkats

The Grandma super-fans of Discovery Channel’s “Meerkat Manor” have truly taken it one step too far.

 

6. Pink Leopard Goat Coat

Dear Makers of the ‘Snuggie,’ Thank You SO much for listening to my plea when I inquired about matching my own leopard-print snuggie with that of my pet goat’s. All of my problems are now officially solved. Yours Truly, Julia Prescott

 

7. Obama Holiday Sweater

What Obama fan wouldn't be delighted to show up at that Holiday sweater party in this bizarrely hideous ensemble? Only $74 plus $10 for shipping. What a deal!

 

8. Lady Gaga Lobster Hat

Wait-wait-wait - so you mean to tell me that all it takes to be Lady Gaga is to take my wrapped up leftovers from the local Seafood restaurant and attach it to my head? This is just way too easy.

 

9. Nose Earrings

Something about wearing body parts as jewelry doesn’t strike me as fashionable or stylish; it strikes me as “Serial Killer-y” and that look was so last season.

 

10. Baby Dragon Hand Puppet

This bizarre hand puppet is made from a hand sculpted cast and poured in resin. What little kid woulnd't want to wake up on Christmas morning to this little hand crafted delight!

Which would you like to get for Christmas?

 

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