10 Most Ridiculous Movie Quotes (Edited For TV)

So the other day I was watching Goodfellas on cable, man that’s firetruckin' pointless. They took out all the good firetruckin' cuss words. But it got me to thinking, there are a ton of movies that get edited to television and the edited dialogue is usually WAY more hilarious than the original line. So, with the help of the internet, I put together a list of the 10 best movie quotes as edited for TV.

 

10. THE BIG LEBOWSKI

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The original line is, “See what happens when you F a stranger in the A!?”

I have since been terrified of traveling to the Alps for the simple fact that if I make a new friend, John Goodman will wreck my car. That guy HATES the Alps.

 

9. Snakes on a Plane

The original line is, “I have had it with these mother f-ing snakes on this mother f-ing plane!”

This is great because we get more back story out of the edited dialogue. Did you know that this plane didn’t run on weekends before the cable cut? Didn’t think so.

 

8. Do the Right Thing

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The original line is, “mother f-er.”

They say this word a LOT in this movie. And in my opinion “mickey fickey” is way more offensive to the ears.

 

7. Half Baked

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The original line is not about sucking feet, I can assure you.

Hopefully this will at least make…wait…nope…Bob Saget is still creepy.

 

6. Casino

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The original line is, “F--- me? F--- you you mother f---er!”

So THAT’S where Cee Lo got the idea…

 

5. Scarface

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The original line has nothing to do with delicious tropical fruits.

I'm pretty sure in this case the edited line actually makes a little more sense when you think about it logically. That’s a sharp fruit.

 

4. Pulp Fiction

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The original line, “My eyes are wide f-ing open.”

If you’re counting that’s 2 by Sam Jackson. He’s like the Kobe of getting censored.

 

3. The Exorcist

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The original line has more to do with Catholic girls & prostitution, and less to do with darning.

Thank god they took out the “Karras.” That was a close one!

 

2. Die Hard

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The original line, “Yippee-ki-yay mother f-er.”

Good, let’s bring the melon farmers into this. They get let off the hook waaaay too often. They play God with their delicious and convenient seedless watermelons and I’m sick of it! SICK I tell you!

 

1. Die Hard…again

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WHAT!? This makes even less sense! Who is Mr. Falcon? The villain’s name is Snape and this has totally taken me out of the movie. Everything up to this point was so believable! I hate censorship…

What’s the weirdest TV censorship you’ve heard someone use? Tweet it at me @DanBorrelli or post it in the comments section below.

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