10 Musicals That Need To Be Movies

Abandon all hope all ye who aren’t an enormous theatre geek. For this here list is up to the rafters with some of the best musicals that have yet to get the Oscar bait film treatment. Side effects of this list include (but are not limited to): jazz hands, Fosse joints, dry mouth (from bursting out into song), erectile dysfunction and playbill.

 

Wicked

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To say Wicked is one of the most successful musicals of all time would imply that it’s only a musical. Wicked might as well be a religion for some musical theatre devotees and god help the person who finally (inevitably) puts it on screen. The latest rumor is that Stephen Daldry (Billy Elliot, The Hours) is in talks to direct but you never know. There might be a Paranormal Activity 28 before we see Elpheba defy gravity.

 

Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog

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Okay, technically I know this is kind of a movie, but I'm talking big budget big screen movie! Allegedly production will start this spring for what will either be a feature or another series of shorts for the interwebs… BUT I WANT IT NOW! I refuse to be rational about this. Do you need another strike Whedon brothers? Because I will go Norma Rae on this shiz.

 

The Book of Mormon

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The beautiful thing about BOM is that it is one hundred percent pro-belief and does not discriminate against Mormons like protests would have you believe. Sure, they get a lot of jokes in, but it equally mocks every religion for their fantastical idiosyncrasies. But you can tell Trey and Matt fully endorse the life affirming nature of having hope, spreading kindness, and treating others with respect, the backbone of most religions. Also, the music is great and they talk about poop a lot. It’s the film musical this world needs AND wants.

 

Cats

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Yes, Cats. Stay with me here. Cats could be a great film musical IF they used the powers of CG to cast beloved Internet cats in the famous stage roles. Nobody would miss the choreography at all if Grumpy Cat was the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees or Lil Bub sang out, “Memories”. Otherwise…it would be a lot of this, the musical equivalent of your sad aunt’s puff paint sweatshirt.

 

25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

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Putnam, like You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown before it, relies a lot on the amusement of seeing full grown adults act like little children. I for one would love to see Sir Ian McKellen spell out words with his foot and then sing about having awkward erections. Haven’t we all?

 

Avenue Q

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Avenue Q could just stop at being a show about puppets with dirty mouths and be worth the money, but instead it’s a hilarious and poignant musical about who we are and how we treat one another in the modern age. It’s also about porn, racism, sexuality, post-collegiate terror, relationships and porn. My only hope is that if they ever film it is for the puppeteers to still be visible, I’m sure their agents would agree.

 

Company

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I think every High School and College theatre program in this country has done Company. They even kind of made it into a television show with the older brother from “7th Heaven” called “What About Brian?”. It’s a story about one perpetual bachelor and the many dysfunctional couples who love him but it’s also about figuring out who you are on your own and in relation to the company (eh? eh?) you keep. Also the songs are amazing because it’s written by Stephen motherlovin’ Sondheim. Up top theatre geeks!

 

Into The Woods

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OK, since I got some internet high fives, more Sondheim it is! With “Once Upon A Time” on TV, “Fables” on bookshelves and Snow White and other fairytales in theatres, there has never been a better time for Into The Woods to become the blockbuster film it will so clearly be. They can even take the Les Mis cast whole cloth, Hugh Jackman as The Big Bad Wolf anyone?

 

The Black Rider

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The Black Rider and the Casting of the Magic Bullets is the collaboration between three genius’ of their fields: Tom Waits (music/lyrics), William S. Burroughs (book), Robert Wilson (direction/design). It would be very cool if a horror movie director were to latch onto this and make it the film Sweeny Todd wishes it was (or rather, what I wish Sweeny Todd was, damn you Tim Burton and Johnny Depp aka Derpton!).

 

Urinetown

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Urinetown is the antidote to an earnest beyond melodrama film like Les Miserables. It’s breaking of the 4th wall to talk to the audience and topical subject matter like corporate greed makes it relevant now more than ever. I’d love to see how they would parody film conventions like they do with musical theatre ones.

 

Which musical do you want to see on the big screen? Did I miss any? Let me know in the comments!

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