10 People I Think Should Run for President

I know it seems early, but the election season is heating up! If you love deceit, lies, and backstabbing, then I bet you can’t wait. There has been a lot of talk about who is going to run for presidency, but here is a list of people who should run for sure.

 

1. Sarah Palin

So what, she’ll throw the country’s reputation down the tube. Big deal. If she becomes our president, I know two things for sure: there will never be another yawn during the State of the Union address, and I will happily watch from my Canadian home.

 

2. Oprah

She has a nice voice. It’s like a choir of angels in front of a philharmonic. She should either be president or narrate my thoughts; either one works.

 

3. The Dalai Lama

He looks so wise. Just look at that face. How could you refuse? Wait— what’s that you say? He wasn’t born in the what? Huh? Can’t hear you.

 

4. Quentin Tarantino

He is one of the most brilliant, and insane, filmmakers ever. One thing he does especially well, e.g. “Inglourious Basterds,” is end wars right. Goodbye, Afghanistan!

 

5. The Winklevosses

Harvard graduates, expert rowers, ruthless. On second thought, this might not be such a great idea: they’d probably sue their opponent for stealing the idea of campaigning.

 

6. CJ Fam

While her label-mate Rebecca Black (“Friday”) is getting all the attention, CJ Fam humbly sings about wanting to be “an ordinary pop star.” She should be the President because it isn’t humanly possible to make curls look that perfect. She must be a superhuman.

 

7. Betty White

Best 89 year old I know. Most adorable person. Period. White’s White House. That combination is unstoppable.

 

8. Larry King

He may be scary looking, but he’s pretty smart (and that in itself puts him ahead of the 2000 and 2004 election winner). And now that his show is canceled, he probably has nothing better to do, other than finding a new wife that can’t legally drink.

 

9. A Large Jar of Nutella

America’s first delicious president. As long as Nutella is free, or at least subsidized, under this administration, I’d be very happy.

 

10. Barack Obama

Swell guy, ey?

Who else would be on your dream ballot?

Check Out Boxman For President!