10 Small Behaviors That Make You A Bad Person

No one wants to be a bad person, am I right? Sure we all know that shooting your niece 'accidentally' in the foot with an arrow (Screw you Uncle Timmy!) or being a singer named Chris Brown makes you a bad person, but there are other, smaller behaviors that also indicate that you are not only an annoying person, but probably an extremely inconsiderate human being. And that's bad. Here are ten behaviors that bug me the most.

 

'Liking' Your Own Facebook Status

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Seriously? WTF? This makes me sad for you. And I have enough things to feel sad about. Like the fact that no one liked my status update. Not even me. See the depression spiral you just sent me down? You're a very bad person.

 

Backing Your Car Into A Parking Space

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Nothing gets me more annoyed than when I'm in a parking lot and I have to wait for some doofus to do the whole rigmarole of backing into the friggin' space. I don't care if it's safer! Just be like the rest of us, for chrissakes! This person often has a vanity plate that says something like NEGOTI8. When he's not backing in parking spaces he's probably sending foreclosure notices to meemaws.

 

Sending A Chain Anything

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A good person would rather die than send 10 of their lazy friends a death wish. Take the bullet, won't you?

 

Saying "Why Don’t You Have Some Pasta With Your Cheese"

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There's always some a-hole around who has to say this when I'm shredding cheese on my spaghetti. Listen mofo! The only reason I eat pasta is because it is a vehicle for cheese! So shaddup about it! Or you're gonna have some fist with your face! Capiche? I got all Sopranos there for some reason.

 

People Who Are Friggin' Pigs With Free Samples

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The only thing grosser than seeing a bunch of hogs eating the chips and guac sample like they're at a friggin super bowl party is when they move their mouth over the bowl so as not to drip. I like to stand nearby and mutter passive-aggressively about how disgusting they are. Too bad they can't hear me through all their porky inhaling.

 

Taking A Sexy Self-Portrait

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Are these pics ever sexy? No. Even if you're sexy, they come off as unsexy for some reason. So stop trying to be so goddamned sexy all the time!  If you're sexy, well, to quote LMFAO 'You know it.' Now you just made me quote LMFAO. SMH. 

 

Spitting In public

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if you have ever done this you have probably almost made someone barf. That's not nice. I'm almost barfing right now just thinking about it. Don't get me started on the people who hold a nostril and blow a snot out of their nose IN FULL SIGHT OF EVERYONE! That's death penalty worthy.

 

Not Quickening Your Step When You Jaywalk

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How you gonna jaywalk and not even skip a little faster on your illegal journey? If you give me a wave and a 'thank you' imma have a fantasy of running over you. Not enough to injure you, more of a slapstick comedy kind of deal, where after I send you flying in the air you land in a giant coconut cream pie or something. 

 

Peeing On Toilet Seats Or Urinal

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What is it about public restrooms that makes everyone act so goddamned uncivilized? It's like Lord of the Flies kind of crap going on in there! Be as disgusting as you like, just so you don't have to come in contact with something disgusting?! YOU ARE THE 'DISGUSTING,' BOO!

 

TyPiNg LiKe ThIs

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I can't even...clearly you have no respect for mankind if you make them read something written in 'nonsense font.' 

What things bug the hell out of you? Let us know in the comments!

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