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10 Things You Should Not Bring Back From Your Mexican Vacation

Every summer thousands of Americans flock south of the border to enjoy Mexico’s inexpensive prices, sandy beaches, delicious tequila, and make bad decisions. Anything goes, and whatever happens in Mexico stays in Mexico – usually. So whether you’re planning on partying in Cancun or Cabo, here are ten things you probably don’t want to bring home from your Mexican dream vacation.

10. A Baby

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Most people settle for a sombrero or shot glass for lasting memory of their family vacation, not a baby on board. Drinking too much tequila can lead to bad decisions and nobody wants to sit down with their kid one day and tell them daddy was really a drunk frat boy who won the bull riding contest at Papas & Beer.

9. The Herp Derp

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You might have had a blast sucking face with the hottie in the bathroom line, but the open sores on your face will not help you get a date once you’re on a plane back to reality.

8. Any Drugs

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Drugs might be easier to come by across the border, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth the discomfort of hiding them in “special” places and taking your chances just so that your mom can save money on her anti-anxiety pills. Just say no!

7. A boob job

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While a $100 boob lift might sound alluring to those who want to look like a supermodel on the cheap, be careful. Chances are you’ll turn out looking more like a balloon boob freak than Pam Anderson.

6. Cornrows

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After shooing away venders all day on the beach, you might be tempted to give in and get your hair done up in cornrows. Go in at your own risk – you don’t want a scalp burn that will start to peel and look like crazy dandruff when you get home. I speak from experience.

5. A Facelift

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Avoid looking like a cat woman and stay clear of any signs advertising too-good-to-be-true Botox injections.

4. A special piñata

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Be sure to shake that piñata you bought from a border vendor – there might be a life-sized surprise hidden inside that you’ll have a hard time explaining to the Border Patrol.

3. A tattoo

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Sure, that tequila drinking game you played all day with your frat buddies might have been epic, but don’t let your frat brothers convince you that you need a tattoo to remember it by.

2. A pet zebra

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Although your town could really use its own zebra, its best to keep the miniature horse – and any other animal for that matter – right where you found it.

1. Montezuma’s Revenge

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Mexican food is the bomb, but it’s no fun when you start to bomb your pants. Make sure to drink bottled water, and watch what you put in your mouth so you don’t spend the whole trip home running to the nearest bathroom. Are you going to Mexico this summer?

What was your favorite vacation ever and why?

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Tags: baby, back, boobs, bring, cornrows, home, mexican, tattoo, tequilla, vacation