10 Worst Things I Saw In The New One Direction Video
So were you guys as excited as I was to hear about the One Direction video leak? Yeah, that's what I thought. There's pretty much nothing I find less exciting than hearing One Direction and leak in the same sentence. Now as you can tell, I'm not a 1D fan, but I still felt it was my duty as an internet junky to check out the video for Live While We're Young, because YOLO....amirite? Unfortunately the first thing I heard was a rip-off of the guitar rif from Should I Stay or Should I Go? an old school hit for badass British punk band The Clash. So I'll admit, I was resistant to their 'charms' from the get go. And then things just got worse... see for yourself:
I'm sorry Directioners, but if you're not one of the people who find the band irresistible looking, then you focus on the music. And It's not good. And I'm no music snob either. Trust me, I like lots of pop crap. So in a way... I guess the song got the video it deserved? Here's the 10 worst things I saw in it.
Harry With A Huge Banana Wiener
I guess I can agree that Harry is the cutest one? I mean if I was forced at gun point to pick one. But that does not mean I wanna see him with a huge phallic banana between his legs. I feel like this GIF is assaulting me. Or at least threatening to assault me. And being sexually attacked by Harry Styles is NOT on my bucket list.
Whatever The Hell Is Going On Here
There is some human centipede kind of thing going on here and it's almost as disturbing as the movie. What exactly is Liam doing to poor Louis? Or is it Louis giving it to Liam? I always get those two confused. They're like the Black Eyed Peas who aren't Fergie and Will.i.am.
Niall Crushing His Wang With A Blow Up Microphone
I wasn't actually that disturbed by this image until I saw someone comment that this GIF made them pregnant. Should we all be worried?
This Moment Being Only One Second
This is why animated GIFs are so great! A one second moment can turn into minutes of guffaws. There is no more satisfying face plant than boy band face plant. If only all of the 1D boys were doing it N'SYNC! ZING!
This Dance Move
Okay on second thought, maybe I don't wanna see them doing anything in sync. This move is supposedly call the rowboat. Maybe I just have a dirty mind, but it's bringing up a much more inappropriate image in my head. It's like a FAP without the Forever Alone part.
Harry Punching A Stuffed Tiger
This just seems jerky. I'd like to see him try that with a real tiger. Seriously. Let's make that happen. Live while you're young, Harry!
It's never a good idea to pretend something's a guitar and then play it hardcore. Especially when it's already been established that the thing you're strumming is Harry's wiener. Don't get me started on Zayn and Louis.
Niall Spazzing Out
I can't believe my 15 year old cousin wants to give this guy her v-card. Maybe it's not Niall's fault that I don't like this image, maybe I just don't wanna think of my cuz having sexy times. PUT YOUR SHIRT ON YOU TEMPTRESS! On a side note, is this really the best pool they could find? It has zero swag.
Harry With His Clothes On
It's making me hot just to see him in that wool jacket. And the 'humorous' pointing is just making me uncomfortable. Is this what the lyrics mean by 'pretending that we're cool'?
Zayn Pretending To Eat A Burger
I used to feel bad for Zayn, because I once forced my Directioner cuz in to picking which 1D boy she'd have killed if she had no choice and she picked Zayn. But now I completely understand.
What do you think of the video? You can let me know that I'm a hater who hates @desijedeikin or in the comments below! In few years I'm sure we'll all laugh about this!