12 Men's Fashion Statements Women Hate

There are a few men's fashion statements that are simply unforgivable... "It's comfortable," you say. Really? Well guess what else is comfortable... a Slanket, but you don't see me wearing one out in public. If we're going to be seen in public with you, the least thing you could do, is show some good fashion sense.

Here's a list of men's fashion statments that are from here on banned! By order of me!

 

Speedos

I don't care what you've heard, speedos are not sexy. They're a weird combination of gross and girly, and if you wear one in public women will stare at you for the same reason they stare at a car accident: because any minute something really scary might come into view and it's impossible to look away. Do us all a favor and leave the banana hammock at home (you too, Armani).

 

Sunglasses At Night

Everyone knows it's really hard to see through sunglasses when you wear them inside or after dark, so if you think you're looking all mysterious and sexy as you stumble around like an idiot, think again. Guys wearing sunglasses in the club are ALWAYS one of two things: a blind man or a jackass. Hint: If you're reading this... you're not a blind man.

 

Too Many Logos

If you want to dress like a walking billboard that's your business, but you should know you're advertising more than just your overblown love of whatever brand you're blaring, you're also swearing your allegiance to the "I'm an enormous douchebag" club. Meet the club leader, King of the Douchebags Gosselin.

 

Sideways Baseball Cap

The sideways baseball cap had it's fifteen minutes of fame about fifteen years ago and only ever worked on fifteen year old boys. Unless you wear toddler size clothes, wear your cap in the front like a man.

 

Pinky Rings

Need to repel women? Then the pinky ring is for you! The more gold and gemstones the more powerful the effect. Plus as a free bonus it also serves as a fancier, frillier way to get yourself into the "I'm an enormous douchebag" club, in case logos aren't for you.

 

Mullet

Business in the front, party in the back, and painfully loserish all over.

Unless your Kenny Powers, AND ONLY KENNY POWERS... then it's hot.

 

Short Shorts

It's an unfair but unavoidable double standard. In the heat of the summer women can wear shorty shorts to stay cool while looking hot, but if a guy tries it instead of looking hot he looks like a 12 yr old girl with seriously hairy legs. But believe me, some double standards are best left alone.

 

Socks With Sandals

I don't know what this says other than "I'm a total fashion idiot." Summer is over, man, let it go (and please pick those toe creepers).

 

The Combover

Who do you think you're fooling? Do you think people can't see that your hair is growing in a totally unnatural direction, and that there's bald head peeking out from underneath? Lots of hair is great of course but bald can be sexy too. Greasy strings of hair moving sideways across your scalp? Not so much.

 

Skinny Jeans

I thought chicken legs were frowned upon for men? Skinny jeans are a guaranteed way to look like you got dressed in the dark this morning and accidentally put on your girlfriend's jeans. Unless that (and the chicken legs) is a look you're going for avoid them at all costs.

 

Fanny Packs

In theory fanny packs are awesome but in practice they look more like a saggy third butt cheek (hanging off the front, ew) than a stylish way to carry keys and a cell phone. Not a good look, Hulk, not a good look. (Although I will admit that Anthony makes a fanny pack look pretty hot.)

 

Mesh Shirts

A fashion loop-hole designed to thwart society's 'no shirt, no service' rule, the mesh shirt says, "Boy, I'm so hot I wish I was naked right now. Oh, wait, I kinda am."

I know there are more men's fashions that I hate but I figured I'd leave you something to comment about... what's your most hated men's fashion statement? What do you love?

 

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