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12 Rockstars You DO NOT Want To Party Like

Posted By: ThatJerkDan on 06.25.10

1. Elvis Presley

Elvis’s rock ’n’ roll lifestyle led him to becoming addicted all kinds of pills and prescription drugs. He died while sitting on the toilet at age 42. I don’t know about you but keeling over while taking a number two sounds pretty unrocking to us.

2. Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas

Speaking of bathroom malfunctions, lead vocalist Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas, um, well, peed herself on stage at a show in San Diego, California. If you can’t bust your dance moves without needing an adult diaper you might be better off staying at home.

3. Chris Martin from Coldplay

Sure his band Coldplay has had a lot of hits but these days band frontman Chris Martin, spends more time hanging out with his (boring) wife Gwenyth Paltrow and his two (boring) kids, one of whom is named “Apple.” Look at the poor guy in this photo above – lame hat, lame bandana, and graying beard. Even the fact that his wife is wearing a see-through shirt is negated by the fact that she’s holding one of their children who is clearly embarrassed by this fact. Completely un-rock ‘n’ roll.

4. Johnny Rotten from The Sex Pistols

Ex-frontman for the groundbreaking punk rock bands The Sex Pistols and Public Image Ltd. Johnny Rotten (AKA John Lydon) used up any of the punk rock street cred he had left when he appeared on the Judge Judy show in 1997. He won the lawsuit against a former drummer seeking cash, but also proved that he was about as cool as the house mom seeking damages for a bad perm job whose case was heard right before his.

5. Tupac Shakur

Rapper Tupac Shakur was at the height of his fame in September of 1996 when he was gunned down while riding in a car owned by notorious record producer Suge Knight on the Las Vegas strip. Wooo partay!

6. Amy Winehouse

Her parents tried to make her go to rehab and she said, "No, no, no." But in January 2008 the cracked out singer changed her mind and said, "Yes, yes, yes." It didn't, "work, work, work."

7. Keith Richards from The Rolling Stones

Whether you know him from playing Captain Jack Sparrow’s father in third installment of the Pirates Of The Caribbean movie or as the lead guitarist for the Rolling Stones, one thing is certain – Keith Richads looks awful. If forty years of booze, cigarettes and partying leave you looking like this, we think you might be better off going vegetarian and maybe joining an early morning spin class at your gym.

8. Courtney Love

See Keith Richards above and subtract the musical talent and forty years playing for The Stones.

9. Jerry Lee Lewis

He’s the 1950’s crooner famous for his hit “Great Balls Of Fire.” He’s equally famous for marrying his cousin, Myra, when she was only 13-years-old. It doesn’t matter how many gold records or sold out concerts you have when you celebrate both of these things cruising family reunions in creepy pedo van and asking out blood relatives on dates.

10. Vince Neil

Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil has seen his fair share of partying over the years. However, it all almost came to an end in 1984 when he crashed his sports car while driving drunk on the way to a liquor store to get MORE booze. His passenger and best friend Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley was killed in the crash, and Neil served jail time and had to pay $2.3 million in restitution to the families of his victims. Sounds like fun, right?

11. Bret Micheals

Not to be confused with Vince Neil, although it appears they share the same weave. Michaels has recently suffered a myriad of medical problems. Apparently partying non-stop with sleazy reality show vixens takes more out of you than previously thought.

12. The Guys from Nickelback

You do not, repeat do not, want to party like the band Nickelback. Because whatever you do, no matter how astoundingly awesome it may be, you’ll still be the guys from Nickelback. Even the dudes from Creed make fun of these douche nozzles.

Check Out America Is Into Bret Michaels!

Tags: comedy, fun, funny, party, rock, star

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102 Comments

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DeathNoteAddict

3 weeks ago

Why does everyone hate/make fun of Nikelback?? They're not that bad!! There are worst artists out there, at least it's rock! >:P And why call it "rockstars" when many of the people are not rockers, but pop, hip-hop or country singers?? /:

AmyIsDead23

39 weeks ago

it kinda annoys me when someone make fun of amy winehouse! :/ OH FUCK U COURTNEY!

aroara777

46 weeks ago

I've been to a Bret micheals concert XD it was awsum...besides the crazy drunk lady who spilled every glass of beer she got all over me and my family =_=

Imluciee

53 weeks ago

JOHNNY ROTTEN <3 <3 <3

Imluciee

53 weeks ago

JOHNNY ROTTEN <3 <£ <£

icefire

64 weeks ago

for #10, nice hair, vince. i know a lot of guys who would be your friend.

spacecees

64 weeks ago

Keith is my hero!!!!!

Smosh=FrickinBeast09

64 weeks ago

It really sounds like the guy who made this IS a DOUCHE!

Smosh=FrickinBeast09

64 weeks ago

The men from Nickelback arnt douches! OK? And how would you know not to party with them im sure you havnt!

jakehh

73 weeks ago

The Chris Martin one is retarded. Oh yeah being married to a super hot supemodel/actress/singer wife is totally boring. What a firetruckin' joke.

EmilyPerson

78 weeks ago

I loved the Nickelback one. Their music sucks..... -_-'
No offence to people who like them. But I can't understand why you'd purposefully put yourselves through that.

TheGrudge

79 weeks ago

i actually like nickleback, but i thought that was funny ^_^

TheAnshey

80 weeks ago

number 6 cracked me up!

AlexEatsBabies

82 weeks ago

wtf?!
Nickle Back is great.
Why you guys gotta hate?

DoctorWo

83 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

prs1290

84 weeks ago

firetruck

prs1290

84 weeks ago

whats wrong with nickel back? they have great music

dafaeriequeen

86 weeks ago

Nickleback isn't really THAT bad >_>

Aphroditeeeeee

87 weeks ago

WTF! i actually just started listening nickelback and i already saw two fricking articles you say something bad about them!

Aphroditeeeeee

87 weeks ago

Hey! i like nickelback!

ajj99

89 weeks ago

O.o Amy whinehouse=vomit :{~~~~~~~

Jailan R.

90 weeks ago

HEY! I love Nickelback. >.>

Meggy-Chan

92 weeks ago

Winehouse=GROSS. O.O

dck9

93 weeks ago

OHHHHHH GOD NOOOOOO!!!!!WTF!!!!!! AMY WAS SO NASTY I COULDNT STOP LOOKING AND NOW I HAVE A NEW PHOBIA( AMY WINEAPHOBIA)...she probably landed at #6 cause she belongs to the devil! i could go on all da

pixie_kill

93 weeks ago

Lmao what is with you guys and Creed?

tha pancake

94 weeks ago

lol howd i know i was gonna c amy winehouse? :p and is that rly fergie? lmao she had a zupar boobjob :o

The_Who_Fan

94 weeks ago

WTF
i was expecting keith moon of the who and john bonham of led zeppelin
they were both alcoholics and died of too much partying and alcohol

Little_Princess=)

95 weeks ago

Ooohhh... so I think that fergie are not realy cool when she peed herself on...
But I like her music
R.I.P. Elvis =`(

liezaaa

96 weeks ago

Is that chris martin?
But I can understand he's on the list coldplay sucks.

sacredcow

96 weeks ago

HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN "even the guys from creed" !?

Bobfishownz

98 weeks ago

Keith Richards ftw

EmilyDarling

99 weeks ago

The Crue is pure awesome. >.>

thirty

99 weeks ago

Where the hell is nikki sixx on this list?
I'd love to party with anyone of the crüe! Those guy's were insane.
I feel bad for Vince niel tho, I understand why he had an alcohol problem.
I mean,

penguinswillrule

99 weeks ago

Okay, I had a strong feeling Chris Martin was gonna be on this list.... But I'm pretty sure that's not him in the picture, but Gwyn's bodyguard or something?

P.S. Coldplay rules.

bec55

99 weeks ago

first of all he didn't die b.c of smoking he over dosed like most rock stars.......poor elvis

felixj

99 weeks ago

Elvis died in the toilet not a heart attack. that wat happens when u smoke.

natalie96

99 weeks ago

Hey hey hey...Keith Richards still has it

kootie14

99 weeks ago

only 2 cover ups. sad.

kootie14

99 weeks ago

i just want to c the swear word cover ups. candy firetruck bitch hell dick pussy

dryicerocks

99 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

13mrcartel

99 weeks ago

OMFG FUKEN TUPAC SHAKUR IS DA candy

Vejera

99 weeks ago

Christmas, Harry Pottee, pizza, smiles n smosh :) Sorry, my message was so long :p

Vejera

99 weeks ago

s just a matter of opinion. No reason to diss them therefore.
So to make up for the 'hating haters' thingy which I just exclaimed, here's a list of things that rocks (random xD)

Vejera

99 weeks ago

yone anymore? These days, you never hear anything about who people like, only who they don't like... it's so tedious -.-'
I'm not very fond of bieber, gaga, taylor lautnor, yadayada either, but that'

Vejera

99 weeks ago

The only 'douche nozzles' (wtf? xD) are those who waste preicous seconds of their lives, on spreading negativity by exclaiming all-of-the-freaking-time who they think sucks. It is as if noone likes an

CaraMain

99 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

k9xtr

99 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

ANTWO91

99 weeks ago

ewww.
#6