5 Reasons Facebook Timeline Is Already Annoying

If you haven't heard... Facebook's New Timeline feature is rolling out! And suprise, surprise, people hate it and are looking for opt outs and are threatening to go to Google+. Different new Facebook, same old story. Now normally I poo poo the naysayers, but this time I have to agree. There are some things that are already annoying me about the new timeline layout. I'm still not going to write annoying updates about my problems with it though...just a full length blog article. After all, I don't wanna look like an annoying complainer a few years from now when I check the December 2011 section of my timeline. Here are some things that are already bugging me about the change!

 

1. The Cover Photo Is Stressing Me Out

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I've already put a ton of pressure on myself to come up with a clever cover photo/profile pic combo. Like maybe a Chris Brown cover photo hitting my profile pic? Too dark?  I don't know I'm still figuring it out. I know the reality is I'm gonna have the default photo stretched out and looking like dooky the whole time this feature exists. My high school guidance counselor was right! Still not living up to my potential after all these years. 

 

2. Way More Stalker Friendly

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Wait...people can really stalk the heck out of me now!  That's really scary, I better figure out those privacy settings. Wait...I can really stalk the heck out of people now! I better go stalk them before they figure out how to change their privacy settings!

 

3. It's Making Me More Obsessed With Myself. Like More Than I Already Am.

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OMG Pictures from that last year's rapture party! I was totally the life of that party. There's a picture of me  telling that hilarious story that was so uproarious it made one girl pee a little. LOL remember in 2008 when I posted that status update about dehydrated bull penises!  I'm so funny/interesting. I love you, me. This kind of internal monologue is bad...right?

 

4. Forcing Me To Confront My Past

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Of course what I see might not all be good. Yes I can delete them (I think!?) if I can figure out how. But that doesn't mean I won't be exposed to the horrors of my past once again. Stupid things I said, conversations with friends who have strangely disappeared (was it the thing I said about dehydrated bull penises?) Is there a drunken black out option to delete all your past foibles from your mind after you delete them from your timeline?

 

5. The Endless Complaints/Threats/Paranoia Have Already Begun

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I swear one out of every 3 status updates from my friends right now is complete and utter dismay about the Timeline layout. They can't do this to us, they say! This is the final straw!  Your customers were not asking for this' improvement'! A wise person once said that we are not Facebook's customers. We are their product.  And that's an idea that is all kinds of  "Soylent Green is people' creepy. But I'm still not switching to Google+.

What do you think of Facebook's new Timeline look? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!

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