Hyrule Neighborhoods You Never See Link Going To

Most of Hyrule is full of nice people with lots of chickens that they don't mind having strangers attack with a sword. What places in Hyrule that aren't chill ass villages are full of easy to defeat Stalfos knights, cute bug eyed monsters, or faeires that want to kiss you on the nose so you won't be sick anymore. It's a pretty nice place to grow up. But not all of Hyrule is so laid back, there are some places even the mighty Link tends to stay away from... like...

 

Compton, Hyrule

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Link has got what it takes to overcome the water temple, the fire temple, and even Ganon. But a pair of heavy boots and a hookshot are no match for the pissed off and take no sh*t attitudes of the boys from NWA.

 

Abu Ghraib, Hyrule

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The harshet interrogation center in Hyrule, Link just doesn't have the stomach to detain people without cause for an indefinate period of time and force them to undergo severe torture to attain at best shaky information. Also the Wizrobes here are a real hassle.

 

Rep. Anthony Weiner's House, Hyrule

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It's one of the prettiest houses in Hyrule, but every time Link goes to Rep. Anthony Weiner's house, Rep. Anthony Weiner shows Link his package. Frankly, Link is tired of getting flashed by the Hyrulean congressman.

 

These 3 A-Hole's Frat House

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They put out word on Hyrule University Campus that there's going to be a party, and if you're not a hot chick in a short skirt they come out and attempt to kill you with rare magic swords. Total typical dick Hyrule frat guy move.

 

Red Lobster

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No one in Hyrule wants to go here. Their lobster tastes like shoes. That's why, as you can see from the picture above, Link has brought a lantern and oil to burn it down to the ground.

 

This Aggravating Giant Worm

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It's not so much dangerous to be around this giant worm as it is annoying. All this giant worm wants to talk about is how boys never pay attention to it and how it's worried that if it keeps eating ice cream it's going to get fat. But what does it do? It keeps eating f*cking ice cream. Jesus.

 

What other places in Hyrule does Link not go? Let us know in the comments!

 

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