6 Things You Will Lose Repeatedly Over Your Lifetime
Sometimes it feels like certain things you were never meant to hold on to for more than five minutes.
Common Reactions to Losing Them: “They were just right here! Right over here! Or maybe over there…” “Every time! This happens every time I toss them blindly on to some random surface without looking!” “Why did I put my keys, wallet, and pincode information all on the same chain?”
Most Likely Places You Will Find Them: In your other pocket of your other jeans you left at that other place you swore you’d never go back to. Still outside in your front door lock up until about five seconds before you thought to look there. In midair as they fall gracefully through a sewer grate into the murky depths below.
Common Reactions to Losing It: “That makes it twice in one week I’ve lost it four times!” “Well, can’t afford to buy a new phone. Guess it’s back to shouting.” “Man, I hope the people at the Verizon store don’t point, laugh and say, ‘Sucks to be you!’ again.”
Most Likely Places You Will Find It: On the table of the restaurant you just left where you forgot to leave a tip. In the car of the person you just broke up with right before they drove back across country. In the toilet of one of 14 bars after a late night of drunk dialing only to leave the sound of sobbing and vomiting on people’s voicemail.
Piece of Paper with Crucial Information on It
Common Reactions to Losing It: “Okay, think, think, think! What was the name of that life-saving medication again?” “Oh man, I hope my friend will frantically call back and scream where he needs to be picked up again.” “Oh great, I lost the piece of paper with the info on it, the pen I wrote it with, and the table I wrote it on. What WON’T I bet in poker?!”
Most Likely Places You Will Find It: In the trash bag that you just had to chase down the garbage truck for five blocks to pick up. Being used to clean up what your dog just did on the street. Years later when you find it stuffed in a drawer and think, “Who’s Johnny and why did I have to pay some ransom for him?”
Sense of Direction
Common Reactions to Losing It: “Why don’t I recognize the language on the street signs anymore?” “For a place that’s supposedly only an hour away we’ve sure seen the sun rise and set a few times.” “This is everyone’s fault in this car but mine.”
Most Likely Places You Will Find It: After cursing out your GPS for six hours only to realize that next time you input a town, make sure you also choose the right state. After cursing out Google Maps for eight hours only to realize you unfortunately used Apple Maps and are now driving in a river. After cursing yourself out for eight hours for writing down as your only direction “Just over the horizon.”
Train of Thought
Common Reactions to Losing It: “It begins with a ‘P’…or a number…or one of those Zapf Dingbat symbols…” “Wow, I just…I just…Listen, can we start these wedding vows from the top again?” “Wait, wait, wait…Nope, it’s gone. Completely gone. Guess I better get back to diffusing this time bomb again, huh?”
Most Likely Places You Will Find It: After retracing every single conversation topic you’ve had since you were five. Right in the middle of an entirely different conversation, only to then lose the train of thought to that one. In the middle of the night but you can’t tell the person you were telling it to because you lost your phone and the piece of paper with that person’s phone number on it.
Your Damn Mind
Common Reactions to Losing It: “AAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Most Likely Places You Will Find It: Kiss it goodbye. Again.
What's something that you always lose? Let us know in the comments!