6 Ways Facebook Actually Makes Your Life Worse
There are many, many things to love about Facebook. It's a great way to keep connected to friends near and far, old and new, even with all the new changes. You can play games, chat and do tons of fun time-wasting activities instead of doing work. Yeah I know, you're actually researching something for a term paper and just checking Facebook for a sec since you were online Anyways. Mmhmm. I've used that excuse too, so nice try. But despite all the good, there are lots of ways that Facebook can actually make your life worse. Here's just a few.
Birthdays Are Lamer
Sure you get excited to see all those notifications pile up, as birthday messages from friends old and new fill your news feed. But notifications are no substitute for presents. Especially when someone else who shares your birthday gets more 'presents' than you. In the olden days you were jealous of someone getting an X-box for their birthday, now you're jealous of someone getting more meaningless salutations and videos of chimps singing Happy Birthday. And that's just sad.
Blossoming Relationships Are Constantly Rubbed In Your Face
Nothing makes you feel happier than seeing that someone you find repulsive somehow found a soulmate to be in a relationship with, while your relationship status is "It's complicated" with a fake account you set up for Rupert Grint. And by happier I mean seething with jealousy. Even worse is when two of your friends become friends and you have to put up with their constant wall-to-wall conversations about fun things they did without you. "You wouldn't even be having fun without me if it wasn't for me," you wanna scream. Actually you do scream it. And it is NOT a pretty sight.
Surging Suspicions That You May Be The 'Dumb Friend'
Thanks, Words With Friends! Don't you just love being ranked lower than a guy who once recreated the fart mask stunt from Jackass?
It's Really Obvious When You Weren't Invited To Something
It's the day after some awesome party happened and FB is all abuzz with the goings on at said party. Hilarious pictures are tagged, inside jokes are bandied about...too bad you weren't invited. You probably wouldn't have been able to attend anyway. I mean, Saturday nights are always the nights you catch up on your TV programs. And NO party could've been more fun than ten back-to-back episodes of ABC's hit comedy/game show, Wipeout. But hey, just because you don't care doesn't mean you can't leave passive-aggressive comments all over that photo album! Prove to them that they were right not to invite you in the first place!
Photographic Evidence That Your Friends Have Better Lives Than You
Trying to recreate memes using your cat seemed like a valid way to spend your time, until you see pictures of how other people live life to the fullest--fabulous vacations, creating new life, and sacrificing their weekends to spend time making sick kids laugh at the children's hospital. Don't feel too bad. You did sacrifice a delicious Poptart to create Nyan cat IRL. I mean that's something, right?
An Overall Increase In Paranoid And Petty Behaviors
When you're not Facebooking (is this a gross new verb now?) do you find yourself plotting ways to make people pay for their perceived slights against you? Congratulations! You've had a Facebook-induced psychotic break! Take a deep breath and soothe yourself with your old stand-by, playing 400 consecutive games of Bejeweled Blitz. There, there...all better. The men in white are coming soon to take you to a safe place. Don't forget to send your Electroconvulsive therapy bills to Mark Zuckerberg!
What are some ways that Facebook makes your life worse? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!