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6 Worst Ways to Break Up with Someone

Posted By: Francesco Marciuliano on 02.17.12

Breaking up with someone is like trying to diffuse a bomb. With your teeth. It requires a lot of careful finesse only for it to blow up in your face anyway. Of course, you can always make the explosive fallout that much worse by trying to breakup with one of the following tactics…

At a Friend’s Party

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There’s something horribly awkward (and appallingly fascinating) about seeing a couple breaking up in public, to the point that even the birds will stop what they’re doing and mutter, “Damn.” Now imagine doing the exact same thing surrounded by a bunch of people you know, all with disapproving gazes and mouths full of cheese cubes and Yellow Tail shiraz. Within minutes everyone is trying to stop the breakup, angrily taking sides or yelling at you for bringing some cheap-a** cheese cubes when you promised you’d cook something for the party instead.

Where You First Met

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Unless you have a sick fascination with things coming full circle, breaking up with someone exactly where you two first met is like returning to the scene of the crime to examine how the “love bullet” first pierced their heart lo those many months/years ago, only for it to ricochet around their body and ultimately destroy all their internal organs. Then afterwards you get to analyze how it turned into a double homicide when you suggested you split the bill.

While Vacationing with Their Parents

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A breakup doesn’t just simply end with the breakup. It’s followed by anger, regret, recrimination, all of which are magnified a thousand-fold when expressed by someone’s father as they hurl your suitcase into the hotel swimming pool, often while you’re still clutching it. That’s because parents are likely to be quite protective—and proactive—when someone makes their child cry, especially when that someone hasn’t paid their way all week. In short, the rule is if three people all share a different last name than you they’re probably less likely to be on your side when it all ends.

From a New Home in a Different City

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Giving up the life you knew and the friends you had to avoid a face-to-face confrontation isn’t just extreme. It’s the start of a pattern of relationships in which you constantly avoid having “the talk,” moving to more and more desolate places, getting worse and worse jobs because your resume says you won’t stay with a company for more than six weeks, until eventually you’re stuck on an ice floe trying to make money selling decorative snowballs through your Etsy store and wondering why the cute polar bears won’t give you the time of day.

Not Saying a Thing

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Some people think that if they stop calling, stop trying to make plans, the other person will eventually get the hint and move on. Instead, any relationship questions that person would have asked you had you just picked up the phone now start to appear as Facebook posts on your wall. Followed by Facebook status updates on their wall. Followed by a series of comments in which their friends get angrier and angrier at you until you’ve inadvertently crowdsourced your own online death sentence.

While Running Late for Another Date

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When you get right down to it, you want to keep the breakup talk brief. The longer you drag it out the more people are going to get hurt and the angrier the responses will be. That said, you do owe the other person some sort of an explanation. So saying, “I’d love to talk more about how much I no longer love you but my date and I have had these dinner reservations for two months now” is not the best way to wrap things up.

What are some other horrible ways to break up with someone? Let us know in the comments!

Check Places To Break Up That'll Make It Easier!

Tags: 6, break, someone, Up, ways, worst

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29 Comments

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1 week ago

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9 weeks ago

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13 weeks ago

your female friends.
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He : But I am leaving you for George.
She : MY EX?
He : No, though he's damn good in bed... I meant your dad who's divorcing your mom. I'm the reason.
She: ...

DonTheDonborg

13 weeks ago

7th way :
You are on the couch of the appartment you live with her and start :
He : Baby, I know you love me but I must tell you something serious...
She : What? (anxious about what's coming)
He : We must break up.
She : Why?
He : I have been sleeping with your sister.
She : Wut?
He : Yes. About once or twice a week depending on your mother's schedule.
She : You mean when she's not around?
He : No, I mean I was sleeping with her as well.
She : Wut the hell?
He : Yes. Also with all of

zena1157

13 weeks ago

FOLLOW these steps 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4.NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

Zariel Guardado

13 weeks ago

How about in front of your parents o.O

gschadel

13 weeks ago

well the worst way to find out, is having someone fb chat you 'hey you and this dude broke up?" you say "what?' they say "idk it was on my newsfeed"

IanHecoxandAnth...

13 weeks ago

My friend has done all of these like 6 times

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13 weeks ago

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supersaiyan630

13 weeks ago

anotjer way is go up to there face a and say were breakin up!

E2Jew

13 weeks ago

ive done the second last thing i dont reccomend cuz they can come back thinking ur not broken up even like 2 months later

HomebrewFox

13 weeks ago

I've seen the "Not saying a thing" method several times. The people that do it suffer worse than the person they break up with. One person's name turned into an inside joke for "ignoring people" because she did that.

dj jazzy jazz

13 weeks ago

i have a friend, and her used to be boyfriend broke up with her on her b-day he was a real d-bag, because apparently he asked on of his friends ''shall i break up with her on valentines day or her b-day?''
really a horrable guy

steedman

13 weeks ago

on their answering machine on their birthday while people in their apartment who are waiting to shout surprise hear it then the person comes in and it's all weird. Then 3 years later you get their confidence again and then break up with them on that birthday
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13 weeks ago

After proposing when the person proposing does the coolest shit ever.

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13 weeks ago

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katdc

13 weeks ago

All so sad, make it happy with a hug

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14 weeks ago

dam thats nice

juneglow

14 weeks ago

Dont forget over text message!

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14 weeks ago

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Black Rabbit

14 weeks ago

What about Valintines Day? (Valintines Day is also called Happy Single Awareness Day) ^^

Janneson

14 weeks ago

Swearing you'll get married and live happily ever after and then putting off the marriage knocking them up and then running off to marry another woman the day after the baby is born..? < --- Totally not my sister's life story..