7 Facebook Music 'Likes' That Will Make You Look Dumb
You really can learn a lot about people by looking through their Facebook 'likes'. Especially in the music category. I warn you though before you do it...you will learn some things about your Facebook friends that you can never unlearn. Daughtry? Seriously, Grandma? I love you, but now you're officially second to Betty White on my 'Top Ten Rad Old Ladies' list. Here's a look at 7 humiliating music 'likes' that will rightly bring you shame and embarrassment. So clean up your 'likes' now, before your reputation is sullied forever.
Liking Only Super Popular Artists
Black Eyed Peas. Beyonce. Katy Perry. Rihanna. Hey there's nothing wrong with liking top 40, but DAYUM! Try exploring a radio station that doesn't have the phrase Kiss FM in the title. 'Music is my life!' they proclaim! The worst part is that these people usually own a 300 dollar pair of Monster Beats by Dr. Dre headphones. To listen to 'I Got A Feeling'. SMH.
Insane Clown Posse
WTF? If I found out a friend of mine was a fan of the Insane Clown Posse, it would be cause for immediate defriending. On the list of my Ten Facebook Commandments thou shall not break, it's right up there with people who over-use LOL and people who mention Twilight in anything but derogatory terms. You better not even be a fan of the Faygo soda page, cause that's like Juggalo friendly. Juggalos are mentally-deficient, evil clown trash. I'd say it to their faces but they probably sit on my chest and fart in my face or something. I wouldn't put anything past them.
Anything You Can Fist Pump To
Fist-pumping music is what I imagine they currently play in hell. Having this as a musical taste basically tells everyone you're an orange-skinned humanoid with ground beef for brains and STD juices leaking out of your arm pits. The only thing good about fist-pumping is that if you look at someone doing it from the right angle it looks like they're beating themselves in the face. And that can make you feel euphoric.
Liking Only Super Obscure Artists
Does your musical 'likes' include things that make the editors of Pitchfork.com scratch their heads in confusion? Does the release of your own yearly 'best of list' on Facebook meet with the sound of crickets? Do you think liking Radiohead is the equivalent to liking The Jonas Brothers? Then your musical tastes are pretentious. FACT: when you get drunk on Pabst Blue Ribbon you stare at yourself in a mirror, crying, as you lip synch 'Jar of Hearts' . Don't LIE!
Whenever I see an idiot tweener like a good song, I know it's been recently ruined on Glee. This is not a musical genre people! Gleek-equivalent a song is the equivalent to beating it to death with your hands and then stabbing it forty times while it's lying dead on the ground. I will never forgive Glee for ruining 'Don't Stop Believing'. Or for foisting Lea Michele onto the world. STOP TRYING TO BE SO SEXY! You look stupid!
Crazy About That Band Dubstep
I'm fine with you loving dubstep. It's not my cup of tea, but I do enjoy it frequently when it's employed as an element in viral videos. Settled. But if you're gonna proclaim your love for it, at least know that it is a genre of music and not a band. It'll make you look super stupid. Like stupider than the time you posted an article from The Onion as if it were real.
'Guilty Pleasures' That Actually Just Suck
Abba. Old school Run DMC. N'Sync. (WHAT!?) These are guilty pleasures. Limp Bizkit. Nickelback. Creed. These are groups of caca holding musical instruments. I would like to see all three lead singers of these bands in a televised version of D-bag Hunger Games. Only at the end, the last surviving d-bag gets scared to death by the ghost of Freddie Mercury. Whoa. I think I should like patent this idea or something.
What are some music interests that you think people should be more ashamed about? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!