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7 Lamest REAL X-Men Characters

Posted By: Danny Licht on 06.03.11

The new X-Men movie is out! If you live in LA, you know this because you've seen the very stupid sky-written X symbols being painted in clouds up in the sky all weekend long.

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I for one have no plans on seeing this movie, nor do I even know what this latest installment is even about. So, in the spirit of putting a damper on all X-citement, here are the 7 X-Men characters with the dumbest powers.

1. Slipstream

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This guy is able to teleport‚ which is pretty cool‚ except there's a catch. He can teleport only when there happens to be one of his magical waves flowing nearby. Oh, and a tiny metal surfboard.

2. Domino

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Her magical power is good luck. If I wanted good luck, I would get Chinese cookies or eat a leprechaun.

3. Dust

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Dust, appropriately, turns into a sandstorm. That's just obnoxious. I mean, who is gonna clean up all this sand? And what if you're under water? Can't make a sand storm at the bottom of the sea. Or can you? When you come back together after you're a sandstorm, do you have like debris and bugs and stuff in your liver? HOW DOES THIS WORK?

4. Longneck

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First off, couldn't they have thought of a more creative name? Yes, this superpower is an extendable neck... and what good is that? Was he part of some freak show in Venice Beach? Peeping into girl's windows? I'd hate to sit behind this guy while I was trying to watch the new X-men movie.

5. Wither

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Wither decomposes matter, like a fungus. No super-person should be in the same category as shiitake mushrooms. Ever.

6. Dryad

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This fool is elf-like, and‚ hold your breath‚ can manipulate plants. "Drop your weapon, or I'll make that ficus grow at a rate that will blow your mind... apart, into tiny pieces." If her plants can't at least do that, she better hang out with some other X-men with some more useful powers.

7. Flubber

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Seriously guys? Flubber? Are you people kidding me? You do know that Flubber is also the name of a horrible Robin Williams movie, right? That's the best you guys could come up with? Aren't you people paid to be creative?

Hey, remember when Robin Williams was funny? No? That's because he hasn't been funny since long before you were even born.

What are other dumb X-Men characters? I'll bet you can come up with better X-men in the comments below... let's hear it! I want to hear your best new X-men character ideas.

Check Out If Superheroes Were Real?

Tags: character, class, dumb, dumbest, first, movie, x-men, xman, xmen

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59 Comments

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safire203

4 weeks ago

If you'd seen any Wolverine & the X-Men, you'd know what a friggin' badass Domino is.

Shidow

16 weeks ago

Does slipstream seem like a not so cool silver surfer to anyone else?

XxDeViLBrInGeRxX

16 weeks ago

well at least Domino's magic would is could if you want to get laid with her lolz

Manuel G

16 weeks ago

Doesn't that Flubber guy looks like Kyogre?

Awdness

17 weeks ago

One: Domino is awesome because she looks like a panda. Who doesnt like good luck!?
Second: "Flubber" Totally Looks Like Kyogre!!!!!! 0.o

HayleyWilliamsFan

18 weeks ago

Screw you guys I love Robin Williams to this day.

macaroniismyname

30 weeks ago

Beast. He is purplish-blue, and very very hairy.

PwnedByElmo

39 weeks ago

Horrible critic.

Nocte

44 weeks ago

Jesus no.6 Dryad... It's just like Poison Ivy and you dare to shit on her? *rampages* other than that yeah... Ok list.

Krotchshot93

44 weeks ago

Horrible? Flubber was awesome.

soraaxel

47 weeks ago

IT'S FLUBBER
-.- it's gay...
BWAHHHHHHHH!

juniorg928

49 weeks ago

jesus you work for smosh!?

Intermission

49 weeks ago

you are possibly the worst critic i have ever seen. They're all pretty cool except for long neck.

hpcoco

50 weeks ago

nomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomno mnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnnnnomnomnomn omnomnomnomnomnom spot the messup

GameGuurl

50 weeks ago

Also, I agree with Hamhaminred , definitely not a great attitude towards something like this...

GameGuurl

50 weeks ago

Wither actually seems pretty awesome!!!!

Marti93

50 weeks ago

Domino and Wither aren't lame, and actually are quite useful. Dust was alright. I don't know much about Dryad nor Flubber (the character). Longneck is just pathetic...

Packman992

50 weeks ago

I'd take any of those powers

kalamundooo

50 weeks ago

Are you serious? There are way lamer x-men characters than these guys. Whither was awesome, he could decompose any organic material by touching it. You want a really lame x-man, try No Girl. She's lik

k-bear

50 weeks ago

Domino was cute! 4 a weird superhero type person thing......

Lorania

50 weeks ago

the dust and the wither are awesome, especially wither... way cooler than wolverine and others.

rmxpokeman

50 weeks ago

"Hey, remember when Robin Williams was funny? No? That's because he hasn't been funny since long before you were even born."

HAHAHA TRUE

vman8000

50 weeks ago

dust

bdfkjbj

50 weeks ago

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AgentZero_rules

50 weeks ago

I always thought Jubilee's "fireworks" mutant power was pretty dumb.

annelittlee

50 weeks ago

You can make anything funny if you strip away the majority of the facts and add a few sarcastic remarks.

bdfkjbj

50 weeks ago

welcome to http://www.gotradebiz.com
--clothing,bag,sunglasses,watches,belts,etc
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joshual

50 weeks ago

dude... i thought that the x-man comics was about people with mutations that is far from being normal humans, not bing some action hero that have amazing powers that rip sh** up :(

Fldancer94

50 weeks ago

Don't hate on flubber... >.> (The green blob not the dude.. )

hamhaminred

51 weeks ago

I'm not really liking the guy who made this. You're attitude needs an adjustment, sir.

Crogan0Dragons

51 weeks ago

So, what are Flubber mutant powers?

Sketchmon

51 weeks ago

each day, your mother would bet away your days lunch money wh9ile playing old maid with her drinking buddies.

Sketchmon

51 weeks ago

Your probably a prertentious ass hole who was devoid of a good childhood.

jakie.hung

51 weeks ago

i gotta disagree on some of these domino has a bad ass power, she has good luck and not like finding a penny, like have a whole building fall on her without a scratch, withers powers awesome too, he c

Sketchmon

51 weeks ago

You not whats stupid about this? The fact that the title is 7 Lamest REAL X-Men Characters, and yet all of the ones you named are pretty cool (except long neck.). The problem is just that your probabl

Atomic Skull

51 weeks ago

If you knew anything about the comics you'd know that Domino is one of the best assassins

llRiSiNgll

51 weeks ago

Flubber was a good movie and Robin Williams is one of the best actors out their. Also manipulating plants could be very useful.

Daviticus

51 weeks ago

The only thing funnier than jokes about Robin Williams is people who get mad at jokes about Robin Williams! Get a life people!

Daviticus

51 weeks ago

@Louness: Wow, you're actually defending Robin Williams...

@fabio12345: He reminds me more of Mekaneck from He-Man!

lessly

51 weeks ago

Robin Williams is not on earth to satisfy some Danny Licht's needs of entertainment.
Stop acting as the voice of mankind, 'cause nobody with the slightest sense of talent shares your opinion.

loj114

51 weeks ago

theuglyguywhodidnoting man , the worse xman

lessly

51 weeks ago

is one of the best comedians AND ACTORS (so no duty to be funny all the time) - and he's freakin' 60 YEARS OLD and STILL making movies!

TheCh4d

51 weeks ago

dude flubber would totally make a good xmen.

natalie.grace

51 weeks ago

"clowds"?........

*clouds

fotzenknechtadestonp

51 weeks ago

lightbulb, he can glow in the dark

lessly

51 weeks ago

Danny Licht, I just lost all respect for you. You're comment the character Flubber was the most uncreative and lame I've ever seen, and what you say about Robin Williams is nothing but disgusting. He'

CharlieFan14

51 weeks ago

Flubber was a cool movie!! >:(