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7 More Great Places To Hook Up That Are Actually Terrible Places To Hook Up

Posted By: ThatJerkDan on 06.17.10

Take it from an expert: things are not always as they seem. You might think that these would be great places to hook up with someone. You are horribly mistaken. I'll tell you why.

1. Limousine

Nothing puts you in the mood like whizzing down the highway at 60 miles an hour while some creepy limo driver watches your every move in the rearview mirror. It’s all the motion sickness and none of the privacy of making out on a rollercoaster. Plus, it’s about as romantic as making out in the back of your mom’s minivan sitting next to your little brother who still picks his nose and eats it.

2. Yacht

Some people think nothing could be more romantic than making out on the deck of their own mega-yacht. Well, those people have never heard of pirates. Pirates cruise the Seven Seas looking for people who have let their guard down so they rob and murder them, and then sink the boat to erase all evidence of their crimes. That sounds romantic. You’re better off sticking to a round of bumper boats and mini-golf.

3. Motorcycle

Oh, my gosh, you’re so hot. This is amazing. You’re so hot, I can’t believe… oh, no, oh, no, wait I'm losing my balance. This was a horrible idea.

4. Parents’ Bedroom

Whenever you throw a party there’s always some joker who sneaks upstairs and tries to get busy in your parents’ bedroom. Yeah, dummy, what’s more romantic than hooking up sitting on the same bed that your dad farts in while watching pro wrestling? Answer = anything.

5. Movie Theater

Do you really think the other 175 people in this movie theater paid $12 for an oversized Coke and box of stale Juju Bees to witness the fact that your only real practice French kissing has been on the back of your hand? Not to mention numerous stuffed animals and once with your cousin Larry? Oh, great, now your braces are stuck together. Maybe someone in the crowd is a doctor or orthodontist or has a Swiss Army knife on their keychain. Well, it appears several of them have a camera phones, so now you (and the Internet) can remember this night forever.

6. Space

People in movies are always making out in space like it’s so awesome because of the zero gravity and whatnot. You know what isn’t awesome? The fact that there are no showers in space. If you want to make out with some chick or dude who smells like they’re covered in armpits be my guest. Just be sure to keep one hand free to hold your nose.

7. The Woods

The woods? Really? That’s where bears poop, hobos bathe and serial killers in hockey masks stalk their prey. Maybe you ought to stay in and rent a movie instead.

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Horrible Places To Hook Up!

Tags: article, comedy, funny, hook up, make out, pics

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39 Comments

Post new comment

SMizuno

76 weeks ago

...they are talking about jason from halloween, not freaking edward.

mexicanllamas

92 weeks ago

i was totally thinking that was edward...you can tell by the stupid hair

zemo emo

93 weeks ago

is that edward?

emosk8ergirl

93 weeks ago

ya he does look like edward thats what i was thinking lol

hannerz

94 weeks ago

is it just me or does the serial killer at the end look like Edward?

dragonthomi

97 weeks ago

parents bed room??

supersmosher103

98 weeks ago

where do you think he was when he got his blood drained by a vampire?

Tobi U.

99 weeks ago

THATS EDWARD!?

mana-samalover

100 weeks ago

@KneeNerd i'd love to hook up in the library but there are always a bunch of hobos at the phoenix public library downtown. so maybe on the librarians desk or something?

mana-samalover

100 weeks ago

i wonder what it would be like to be naked in space. would your ******* float?

darknaviable

100 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

darknaviable

100 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH WITH YOUR HAND 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HAND 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. NOW LOOK AT YOUR HAND

creaphoenix

100 weeks ago

actually, there are showers in space shuttles, and in space.

hieroolz97

100 weeks ago

i like the movie theater one

Shadow-McFriggi...

100 weeks ago

It's crapping.

kix135

100 weeks ago

whats w/ the cencored bear

joshual

100 weeks ago

Robert pattinson looks like a drug head, and will look like drug head every time i see him. i mean HE'S F@*%#NG MESSED, LOOKING LIKE A DRUG HEAD AND GIRLS LOVES HIM!!!!!!

nachos216

101 weeks ago

you are rediculas suck it up

br0oke

101 weeks ago

Not as good as the last one.

Shadow-McFriggi...

101 weeks ago

Not the yacht?... =[

AmyB18

101 weeks ago

I thought the guy with the ax was Robert pattinson lmao!!!

KneeNerd

101 weeks ago

You keep forgetting the library. Unless that really is a great place to hook up...

mlkshake10

101 weeks ago

OMIGOSH!!!!!!!!! That guy with the axe looks like robert pattinson!!!!!!!!

Jenlotjohn

101 weeks ago

off to go rent a movie now....

joy kill.

rebekahgonzalez

101 weeks ago

omg alissa5 i was thinking that to
and i was just about to post it

Alissa5

101 weeks ago

The axe guy in the woods looks like Robert Pattinson

hitmanner14

101 weeks ago

ries to kiss me. I would be like: HEY WOMAN!, get your pretty a*s back in your seat, or better go to the bar and get me a drink. NO I lied i will never be like that to a woman.buy I will refuse the ki

hitmanner14

101 weeks ago

why do people make out in a movie theater?
Because What is the whole point on going to the theater, when im with a girl and i have the stupid lame ass idea to take her to the movie theater. and she t

evelinalind

101 weeks ago

but fatter?

evelinalind

101 weeks ago

is it just me or does the guy in the fourth picture look like Marshall from How I Met Your Mother??? xD