7 Reasons My iPhone 4S Is Seriously The Best Thing of All Time
With the release of the new Apple iPhone 4S, and as industry analysts expected, every single accomplishment mankind has achieved was rendered irrelevant. I was able to stop salivating and rubbing the iPhone 4S all over my body long enough to compile a list of its greatest features.
Friendship Comes to the iPhone with Siri
You know how back before the iPhone you had to carry around a laptop, camera, music player, notebook and cell phone?! Now think about how you have Tyler who lives all the way in downtown and Amanda who might be mad at you and Ryan who has a hint of social anxiety disorder. The iPhone does away with all the confusion of friendship with Siri, a new voice recognition software update that can send texts for you, pick somewhere to eat, and even sit and make fun of a bad movie with you! Thanks to Siri, you have all the friendship you'll ever need and can throw Tyler and Amanda and Ryan away like so many analog calendars.
No matter what you're doing on your new iPhone 4S, you can pull up Twitter and tweet about it. Which is good, because it was hard to twitter before, and that barrier to entry has potentially cost us millions of important tweets. Imagine the nightmare scenario where a man sits eating a tuna fish sandwich and tried to tweet about how "yummers" it was, but had to push the home button AND open his favorite twitter app! "Forget that" the man said, turning back to his tuna fish sandwich. And then, horrifically, that tweet was lost to us forever.
With the new iCloud feature, every song you buy across all your devices is accessible from all of your iOS and OS X devices. Which is great because just the other day I wanted to watch an episode of Smallville and it was only on my iPad and I only had an iPhone and I had no choice but to sit on the street corner and cry and cry and cry.
New Notification System
You can just swipe at the top of the screen and all your notifications are there. Like, it shows missed calls and texts or something. I don't really know a lot about this feature, but this guy who was showing me an apartment just pulled out his own iPhone 4S and did it and I was like "cool" and he was like "seriously though how's your credit?"
With the iPhone 4S, you don't have to pay for awful data plans to send text messages! I mean, that is assuming you're only connecting with other people using iOS devices like the iPad and iPhone. And of course you are. You wouldn't associate with "those people" (people using Android). I wouldn't say I hate them, but I definitely pity them.
Dual Core A5 Chip
I'll never forget the dark days when we had only one core in our chips. At least four times a day I would ask myself if someone had stolen all the cores from my phone before I recalled that, no, this is just how the phone was made.
8 Megapixel Camera
The new camera in the iPhone 4S is remarkable. Honest to God I took a picture of a leaf blowing in the wind and this camera actually picked up that moment's intangible poetry.
What's your favorite feature on the iPhone 4S? Fumble with your tiny touchscreen keyboard to tell us in the comments!