7 Relationships Statuses Facebook Needs To Add
There are so many types of relationships! Single, married, or divorced just isn't cutting it anymore, Facebook! You've fixed the photo-tagging issues, now let's help people deal with their relationship issues. Sure you have an 'It's complicated' option but let's break it down even further, shall we? It's time these people faced the truth about what we're all thinking about them and their complicated relationships--whether they like it or not!
In A Relationship With Someone Who Doesn’t Realize They’re Gay
There ain't nothing wrong with dating a guy who's in touch with his feminine side. And it's definitely great to have a lot of things in common with your soulmate, as people so barf-ily put it. But straight dudes don't wanna sing the slowed-down Glee version of Poker Face with you in the senior talent show. And they definitely don't stop speaking to you for a week when you accidentally tell them who got kicked off of Project Runway. I know it hurts to admit the truth, but you'll both feel better after a good cry in each other's arms. As he always says, "Ain't nothing listening to Beyonce can't fix!" So true!
In A Summer Fling. Check Back In A Week.
You'll pretend that you're gonna try to keep it going once school starts again. But let's be honest, you were running out of time to pick that special someone to 'get with' all summer, so you lowered your standards. Short term fixes are very rarely long term solutions. Just remember while you're breaking up with him to keep a straight face when you say the reason you're dumping him is because you really need to focus on your studies.
No Time For A Relationship. Too Busy Stalking My Ex On FB
Keeping a Facebook stalker in a relationship with their stalking keeps everyone safe from unknowingly hooking up with a psycho. Sounds like a win/win situation. Except for the person they're stalking. For that person it's more like a BLOCK and restraining order kind of situation.
In A Relationship... With My Hand!
You might as well just admit it, before your friends admit it for you! Especially when your friends are experts at making fap puns. After all, a wise person once said that until you learn to love yourself, it's very difficult to love someone else. Tell that to your mom the next time she complains about your suspiciously long showers!
In A Relationship With My Made Up Boyfriend
No one believes you about the awesome and amazing guy you met at sleep-away camp. So stop wasting your money on sending yourself flowers and buying yourself a promise ring. Start spending it on therapy, where you can discuss the utter disgrace of sexting yourself.
In A Relationship With A Cheat. Everyone Knows But Me.
Admitting everyone knows but you is the first step to almost admitting it to yourself. Or something like that. But to be honest, if you were able to keep the denial after he told you the blonde he was tongue- kissing was just his cousin AND after you got a case of raging mouth herpes, then maybe you are hopeless.
Single implies there's a choice. And some people just ain't gonna get some, ever! Even their hand turned them down!
What are some relationship status options you'd like to see? Give me a shout-out @DesiJedeikin or let us know what you think in in the comments!