7 Signs You're In The Friend Zone
The Friend Zone. The third worst zone to be in after The Green Zone and a Hot Zone. But you most likely can leave the Green Zone. And at least you'll probably die in a Hot Zone. The Friend Zone is hard to escape and the only thing you'll die of is humiliation. Here are 7 signs you're in the friend zone. Deep down you probably already know. So stop painting her bedroom for her while she's on a hot date, RIGHT NOW! Here's your wake-up call:
You've Ever Been Used As A Piece Of Furniture Or A Prop
Don't let someone use you as a bench! You are not a clothes rack or a bellhop cart. YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING THAT DESERVES A SENSE OF DIGNITY! Now get off of your hands and knees and take the construction paper banana out of your mouth. This is not having her 'all over you'. This is her treating you like her bitch.
She Ignores You, Even When You Blatantly Admit Your Feelings
This must be one of the most crushing humiliations known to mankind. The only acceptable explanation is that she's truly clueless. And do you really want to devote your life to a dummy? Don't answer that...not in the mood to strike a painful facepalm at the moment.
You’ve Done Something Embarrassingly Girlie Just To Be With Her
This is only sexy and adorable when you have the hots for a guy. I'm sure after this photo was taken they binged on the baked goods, watched The Notebook and then he held her as she cried about her latest break-up. This goes to Friend Zone Level 15,000 if he cheered her up with a surprise spa night afterwards.
She Stresses That You’re Her Friend…At All Times
Are you ever constantly stressing that your same-sex friend is your BFF? I mean when you're over the age of 16? No. No, you do not. This is the one time in life when someone calling you their friend, has a pain level equivalent to a dynamite suppository. So I've been told.
Constantly Told What A Great Boyfriend You'd Be. FOR SOME LUCKY GIRL.
This is basically like saying 'you have all the qualities I'm supposed to want in a guy, but for some reason I find you sexually repulsive'. Now it is possible that you will have an awkward hook-up in your future. But you will spend years in therapy recovering from your mental castration. DON'T DO IT!
BF Still Stands For Best Friend…Even After A Romantic Gesture
He should've drawn the Forever Alone character on his shades.
You're Still The One She Relies On, Even When She's In A Relationship
Don't be the Gale. That kind of sacrifice is only noble in a post-apocalyptic film setting, when everyone's fighting for the greater good of humanity. Caring for your dream girl's elderly, diabetic cat while she's on a romantic weekend with the d-bag she loves is not noble. It makes you look like a chump. And at least Gale is a hot chump with a purpose.
What are some other signs you're in the friend zone? Let me know @desijedikin or in the comments below!