7 Sodas that Have Thankfully Been Forgotten

If you're like everyone currently living in America, you have a bit of a sweet tooth. You also probably have diabetes, but you can't make an omelet without breaking out a few tablespoons of sugar to cram in your gullet. Among the most popular... well, things in America is soda. Iconic brands like Pepsi, Coca Cola, and Dr Pepper dominate film, television, and our refrigerators. But rarely do the forgotten beverages, the "Crappy" sodas, get the respect they deserve. So here, now, are 8 Sodas That Have Thankfully Been Forgotten:

 

Surge

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If you're my age (71, because you're only as old as you feel) you'll remember the commercials for this beverage, where a bunch of young people would be lined up, someone would yell "SUUUURGE!" and they would all scramble over each other, desperately trying to be the first one to get to the bottle of SUUUUURGE citrus soda that waited for them at the finish line. Well, it turned out that SUUUUURRRGGGGRGE tasted like sh*t, so no one could be bothered to walk to the 7/11, let alone scramble over bodies and obstacle courses to get it.

 

Pepsi’s “Wild Bunch”

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Three different fruit flavor "enhanced" versions of Pepsi, these took the teeth obliterating sweetness of Pepsi, and further sweetened it with synthetic fruit flavoring.

 

Crystal Pepsi

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Hey Pepsi, "Crystals" are a solid where the atoms form a periodic arrangement. "Clear" is something that is easily seen through; transparent. This is "Clear Pepsi", and it just as gross as "Regular Pepsi".

 

Pepsi Blue

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Another gross, extra-sweet Pepsi product. The moral of this article? Pepsi makes dumb choices. If Pepsi were your friend in college, they would have a face tattoo featuring the cast of "Star Fox 64" (I went to a liberal arts college).

 

New Coke

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The Grand daddy of stupid marketing ideas, the wizards behind this took the world's most popular beverage (I'm including water), pushed it aside, and presented the world with a "New" version. But Original Coke was still so popular, it would be like if the Federal Reserve came out with "New Money", while reclassifying the American dollar as "Classic Money”. We’re still more than happy to spend classic money, Federal Reserve, why did you invent new money? No wonder Ron Paul hates you so much…

 

Orbitz

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It looked like someone got drunk off some sort of fruit flavored vodka, and then threw up in an empty soda bottle. But I love mediocre soda, and disconcerting balls of goo, so you'd think this would have been a hit with me. You'd be wrong, it still stunk.

BLOOD! The Soda

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Tasted WAY too much like actual blood. It was popular with my neighbor though. I just invited him inside my apartment and... No, stop! What are you doing?! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

Have you ever taken the time to type out what you were screaming as your neighbor turned you into a member of the living dead? Let us know in the comments!

 

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