7 Things People Lie About Most On Facebook
It's very easy on Facebook to present to the world the person you want to appear to be. Even if 90% of that is a lie. Well maybe lie is too strong of a word. How about white lies, exaggerating, fudging, and not telling the whole truth. It's less jerky to fudge than to lie, right? I hope. Here are 7 things that people lie about most on Facebook.
'GTG! My mom's calling me to dinner!' or any variation of this excuse is a big fat lie. These people are not going offline. They just don't wanna chat anymore. They wanna play games or look at sexy pictures without being interrupted by your attempt at LOLs. If you're gonna go 'offline', just be sure you don't do anything on Facebook that'll show up in the scroll. It can be kind of embarrassing to get busted in an 'offline lie' because you 'liked' Taco Bell.
Most Things They Say In Their 'About Me' Section
Highlight the one cool job you ever had. Fail to mention you are currently a burrito slinger. Say you went to a prestigious university, fail to mention you flunked out after one semester. This section is full of little white lies. My favorite are the cocky mofos, who use it as a personal platform to talk about what badasses they are. These people are usually the same ones who post desperate for attention status updates or post photos of themselves where they claim to think they're ugly.
My 14 year old cousin and all her friends love to say they're 16. I love to inform their mothers of this. I feel bad, but not as bad as I would if they fell in love with a 22 year old creeper, who is really 38, that they met on Facebook because he was trolling for 16 year olds. Back in my day we had to meet creepers the old-fashioned way, in the 7/11 parking lot. Luckily, I knew to never accept free Slurpees from strangers.
Their Profile Pic
It's one thing to put your most flattering photo up, I mean we all do that. But if you're actually doing the equivalent of photoshop plastic surgery, you need to get a grip. Or at least take a goddamn photoshop course! DAYUM!
Surprise At Receiving So Many Birthday Wishes
Are we really all that surprised anymore that on our birthday we get a ton of birthday wishes? I'm usually surprised when I don't get a ton. I'm not the only one who sits there all day refreshing my page and making mental notes of those you didn't get wishes from, right? Hope those a-holes don't think they're getting a meaningless birthday wish from me this year!
Responses To Invites
There's only so many crappy band gigs and cringe-inducing improv shows one can go to! For me that number is zero. But I always put maybe and then change it to 'no', 30 minutes before the show starts. I wanna be more supportive, but right now I'm in the middle of re-watching the entire run of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.Buffy > everyone.
Their Interests And 'Likes'
These sections are LIE central! Just because you took hundreds of blurry pics of your shoes doesn't make you interested in abstract art. And you can't 'like' Bob Dylan when you only know the Miley Cyrus cover of "You're Gonna Make Me Lonsesome When You Go' . I know you're trying to look 'mature' but he kind of looks weird sitting in between Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne.
What do you think people always lie about on Facebook? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!