7 Things You ACTUALLY Learn From Videogames

Everytime someone goes gun crazy, gamers brace themselves for what’s coming next; “He learned it from video games, Mom, HE LEARNED IT FROM VIDEO GAMES!” But we all know this isn’t true. Playing Halo makes you a qualified marksman about as much as sitting through a high school biology class makes you a biologist (schools have gotten really bad). That, however, doesn’t mean you can’t learn things from video games. Her are 7 Things You ACTUALLY Learn From Videogames:

 

Rage Control

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Anyone who ever played old NES games in particular, knows you either learned to deal with the rage that came from failing over and over again, or you went mad.

 

Suppressing Screams

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Remember the skinless babies with knives from Silent Hill? Well, I do. And because of those shambling, flayed little monsters I learned not to audibly scream, lest I wake my soon-to-be very irritated parents from their sleep.

 

Improvised Weapons

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If you've done much split-screen multi-player gaming, you know the most efficient way to beat someone unconscious with a controller. Either because they keep screwing up and crashing the hover bike into the damn walls (we bought that Battletoads walk-thru for a reason, Konrad!) or because they keep looking at your screen to determine whether your in the top or bottom floor of the library, sometimes you just need to lay a thrashing down with whatever is on hand.

 

Expanded Vocabulary

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After spending a couple hours playing online gaming, you will be able to assault someone with either homophobic or racial slurs in every language.

 

Life is Meaningless

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People accuse videogames, with their infinite lives and no real consequences for death, of making players think they're invincible. But I say the opposite: the infinite attempts at any objective prepares us for the meaningless of life, because if you can try something as many times as you want, where's the accomplishment?

 

Doing Things Without Getting Up

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The desire to not interrupt a gaming session has led to the creation of some pretty amazing rube goldberg machines. "I don't want to get up to get water. SOMEONE BRING ME NINE HUNDRED SPOONS AND A RUBBER BAND!"

 

Tolerance And Understanding

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Gamers are notorious for respecting other people's viewpoi- HAHAJK Gaming apprently teaches you to commit online slander against anyone with a different viewpoint than your own, especially when it comes to sexism, depictions of race, or anything else the very privileged like to deny they have privilege in.

 

What have you learned from wasting your day? Let us know in the comments!

 

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