7 Tips For Surviving A Vampire Attack
It's that time of year when werewolves, ghosts and Vampires wander the streets looking for sweet treats... But it's no laughing matter for Joel Martin, one of New Yorks leading Vampire hunters.
Joel had been sceptical of the existence of vampires until he had a chat with "Vampires Are" author Stephen Kaplan. That's when he started looking more closely at this whole vampire business.
Joel claims that there are tons of real and true Vampires out there in the world, "You honest to God don't know if the guy driving the cab you're in is one," he said. Yes. Because if you are a member of the immortal undead, you want to spend your time driving a cab.
Yo. Where ya headed, Bella?
So odds are that you are going to run into a real Vampire at some point in your life. Will you know what to do to survive? You will, after you finish reading these highly informative and life saving tips.
1. Be Alert
Vampires can sneak up on your anywhere at any time. You need to constantly be aware of your surroundsings if you want to avoid being lunch for some blood sucker.
2. Carry A Cross
Depends on which Vampire TV show or book you are reading... some think that crosses have no effect, I belong to the "better safe than sorry" school of business so I say keep one around just in case. If all else fails you can stab the Vampire in the heart with it.
3. Holy Water Squirt Gun
A lesson learned from the Frog brothers in the 80's cult Vampire classic The Lost Boys. It never hurts to be packin' a little holy heat.
4. Turn On The Charm
If you don't have any weapons, and dont' think you'll be able to fight off this unholy creature yourself... you'll want to turn on the "charm" if you want to survive. If you watch True Blood you know that Vampires like to keep cute human pets around to feed off of, and have sex with. Could be worse.
5. Vampires Often Travel In Packs
If you see one vampire, odds are that there are a few more nearby that you can't see... hiding in the bushes or trees. The Vampire that you do see is probably a scout who is going to try to scare you into running, but wait... you're running into a trap. They'll try to herd you into a dark alley or some other private space and then voila dinner is served.
6. Scream and Yell And Make Some Noise
You know what Vampires like? Privacy. You know what they hate? Attention. If you scream and yell and make a lot of noise you're going to draw attention, and this is something that Vampires can not tolerate. They definately prefer to travel under the radar. Be as loud as you can... bang trash cans, break windows, scream at the top of your lungs... anything to make noise and get someone's attention. A vampire may decide that you're simply too much of a pain in the ass, and fly off to find a less obnoxious meal.
7. Seek Medical Attention Immediately
A bite can be dangerous. They can get infected, diseases can be transmitted... anything could happen. Make sure to seek medical attention immediately following any encounter with a Vampire, even if you can't find any visible wounds.
You never know when a Vampire will attack but at least you've got a game plan now, and know what to do and what NOT to do. Share this with your friends and family because you never know when they too might encournter a Vampire.
Do you have any other advice for what to do in a Vampire attack? Leave your suggestions in the comments below.