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7 Video Game Characters Giving Bad Therapy Advice


Many video game characters have had to get side jobs as clinical psychologists to supplement their income during this difficult economic climate. Although their advice isn't always the best...

 

1. Link

"If you're feeling down it always helps to attack a chicken. Just don't attack it too many times, or a bunch of chickens will attack you."

 

2. Master Chief

"It sounds like you're really mad at your father. I find the Covenant Carbine rifle is the best weapon against fathers."

 

3. Luigi

"I find the best way to deal with sibling rivalry is just to let your brother take all the credit, and basically walk all over you, then when he finally lets you help out act like you're grateful even though you're dying inside."

 

4. Mario

Patient: " I don't know sometimes I feel I don't feel anything. What do you think I should do?"

Mario: "It's a ME MARIO!"

Patient: "I'm sorry I don't see how that pertains-"

Mario: "It's a ME MARIO!"

Patient: "..."

 

5. Niko Bellic, GTA IV

Niko: "First you pull the guy out of his own car, then you shove a grenade in his mouth, then I find it best to throw him at a hooker."

Patient: "I asked you if you think I seem distant."

Niko: "I got nothin' for ya."

 

6. Kirby

Patient: "Do you ever feel alone in a cro-"

*Swallowing sounds*

Kirby: "Oh no, now I have his powers. And his only power was sadness."

 

7. Ganon

"You say you are tired of being picked on by your boss? Do not confront him about it! Instead, steal his wife, create a mirror dark version of the world, and force him to battle his way through that dark version of the world to get to her!"

 

What other video game characters would make terrible therapists? Let us know in the comments!

 

Check out these Mario gifs!

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7 weeks ago

LOL ganon

29 weeks ago

Whaaat Niko Belly is a very sencitive and consultive guy

34 weeks ago

Wait... Link doesn't talk !

45 weeks ago

I think Sims would be the worst. All they do is speak gibberish, and if they get hungry or tired, they'll complain to YOU.

46 weeks ago

snake from metal gear solid

49 weeks ago

pyro from Team Fortress 2....actually all the characters from TF2 would suck.

57 weeks ago

noobs from black ops

59 weeks ago

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59 weeks ago

vincent valentine from ff7 (pre-DoC) would be a pretty bad therapist. you'd probably end up giving him the therapy. lol

60 weeks ago

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60 weeks ago

lol

60 weeks ago

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60 weeks ago

Isaac Clarke would a make bad therapist, as he is insane.

60 weeks ago

Isaac Clarke would make bad therapist, as he is insane.

60 weeks ago

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60 weeks ago

Master Chief FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!

60 weeks ago

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60 weeks ago

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61 weeks ago

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61 weeks ago

kirby was downright scary... nightmares may ensue

61 weeks ago

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61 weeks ago

that was a scare-you-sh i tless kirby

61 weeks ago

Kirby was firetrucking weird O.o

61 weeks ago

Sonic: Just Smile 8D

61 weeks ago

what about Gordon Freeman?

61 weeks ago

with that kirby image you ruin it all... that's it. I am going to stop reading the things you post "daniel dominguez" ...

61 weeks ago

economic troubles my ass link brought malo mart

61 weeks ago

economic troubles my ass link brought malo mart

61 weeks ago

that kirby makes me feel sick D:

61 weeks ago

What about Captain Falcon?

61 weeks ago

seriously

61 weeks ago

why is ash not here

61 weeks ago

That picture of Kirby makes me want to rip my eyes out.

61 weeks ago

I can't see how Ganon's advice is bad... That's totally what I would've done :S

61 weeks ago

I agree with rmxpokeman. However, I think Link's therapy would be him just sitting there listening to what you say and staying silent the whole time (apart from the occasional hyah! and Hyeah! and AAA

61 weeks ago

That picture of Kirby is horrid!!! D:

61 weeks ago

Mario was awesome xD

61 weeks ago

hehe :3 Kirby ^_^

61 weeks ago

hahaha ;D

61 weeks ago

I think Link gives great therapy advice. XD