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7 Ways to Ruin Thanksgiving for Everyone


Thanksgiving: that time-honored American tradition when we gather with relatives we barely know, gorge ourselves on a little bit of meat and a lot of carbs, and argue about politics and religion. The holiday is stressful enough, so try to avoid doing any of the following, or you just might have a familial disaster of epic proportions on your hands.

 

1. Make Your Guests Wear Ridiculous Holiday-Themed Hats

This one seems harmless, but making folks wear a goofy turkey headdress really sets the stage for a day full of humiliation and awkward moments.

 

2. Two Words: “Roasted Baby”

Guaranteed to leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

 

3. Bring the Soup Kitchen to Your Kitchen

He might be the nicest guy living under the freeway overpass but he's also kind of a bummer to be around... always complaining... plus his beard smells like a can of expired Spam.

 

4. Invite an Alleged Murderer to Your Family Dinner

Even if he’s innocent, his presence is sure to make everyone uneasy. On the plus side: If he’s guilty, I’d bet he can carve a mean ham.

 

5. Stage a Hip-hop Reenactment of the First Thanksgiving

Be sure to give this guy the lead role.

 

6. Have a Pre-dinner Viewing of PETA’s Video Detailing Animal Abuse at the Turkey Slaughterhouse

There’s no better way to lift spirits, whet appetites, and instill a sense of thankfulness in folks than by showing them footage of their main course being stomped on, slammed against walls, and boiled alive. Bon appétit!

 

7. Introduce a New Family Tradition: The Clothing-Optional Thanksgiving Dinner

Let’s face it. Nobody wants to see Grandpa’s giblets... except for maybe Grandpa.

Have any Thanksgiving horror stories you want to share with us?

 

Check Out A Smosh Thanksgiving Cartoon!

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24 weeks ago

I am a vegitarion, so the meat pic was really mean and gross

25 weeks ago

I LOVE MEAT!!!!!!!!!!! If meat didn't exist, neither would I. I need meat!

70 weeks ago

NOCIYF!!!! and vegetarians rock!

71 weeks ago

I don't get the point of vegatarians... If you have carnivorous teeth, use it. -.-
Yes, you can stop eating endangered spieces (whoever does that) but that doesn't mean you have to be a vegan...

74 weeks ago

candy

77 weeks ago

PETA is some hypocritical candy. i know, because i use to be a vegetarian and was totally against it. and @rmxpokemon....humane societys don't kill animals, they euthanize them....for dumb reasons, tha

78 weeks ago

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78 weeks ago

PETA is so full of candy. They kill more animals than the humane society.

78 weeks ago

omg i just got back from our thanksgiving dinner and oh they broke rule number 1... we all had to wear colorful paper crowns for over 3 hours.. yes.. all of us.. even 89 year old gramps

78 weeks ago

that homeless dudes beard makes me think of pirates of the caribbean

78 weeks ago

at least they didn't show his nuts

78 weeks ago

#7 is so gross! the men r probably diggin the woman tho!

78 weeks ago

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78 weeks ago

One time my dad was joking around with my uncle, and my uncle pulled out a butter knife like a mugger would. my dad pulled out his military grade pocket knife. my grandma yelled at both of them

78 weeks ago

Meat is ment to eat. :]

78 weeks ago

lol both men looking at da woman

78 weeks ago

agreed..

78 weeks ago

@Broderick711 were not vegetarians because we can't "Man up." Were vegetarians because we care about the lives of innocent animals:)

78 weeks ago

the last pic, that dude is lookin youknowwhere. lol

78 weeks ago

firetruck vegetarians, man up and eat a bird 1 day a year.

78 weeks ago

HEY! THAT PETA THING IS IM PORTANT IMMA VEGITARIAN! I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE WATCH THAT VIDEO!

78 weeks ago

first

78 weeks ago

first