7 Ways to Ruin Thanksgiving for Everyone

Thanksgiving: that time-honored American tradition when we gather with relatives we barely know, gorge ourselves on a little bit of meat and a lot of carbs, and argue about politics and religion. The holiday is stressful enough, so try to avoid doing any of the following, or you just might have a familial disaster of epic proportions on your hands.

 

1. Make Your Guests Wear Ridiculous Holiday-Themed Hats

This one seems harmless, but making folks wear a goofy turkey headdress really sets the stage for a day full of humiliation and awkward moments.

 

2. Two Words: “Roasted Baby”

Guaranteed to leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

 

3. Bring the Soup Kitchen to Your Kitchen

He might be the nicest guy living under the freeway overpass but he's also kind of a bummer to be around... always complaining... plus his beard smells like a can of expired Spam.

 

4. Invite an Alleged Murderer to Your Family Dinner

Even if he’s innocent, his presence is sure to make everyone uneasy. On the plus side: If he’s guilty, I’d bet he can carve a mean ham.

 

5. Stage a Hip-hop Reenactment of the First Thanksgiving

Be sure to give this guy the lead role.

 

6. Have a Pre-dinner Viewing of PETA’s Video Detailing Animal Abuse at the Turkey Slaughterhouse

There’s no better way to lift spirits, whet appetites, and instill a sense of thankfulness in folks than by showing them footage of their main course being stomped on, slammed against walls, and boiled alive. Bon appétit!

 

7. Introduce a New Family Tradition: The Clothing-Optional Thanksgiving Dinner

Let’s face it. Nobody wants to see Grandpa’s giblets... except for maybe Grandpa.

Have any Thanksgiving horror stories you want to share with us?

 

Check Out A Smosh Thanksgiving Cartoon!