7 Ways To Ruin Your Relationship On Facebook
Having a successful relationship was hard even in the oldey-timey days before the internet. But it's nowhere near as hard as it is with all this dang technology! It was much easier to cover up your embarrassing past or claim that the suspicious digits on your beeper was just a wrong number. As great as Facebook is, it has created some new challenges for lovebirds interested in having a successful relationship. Here's the 7 top ways you can ruin your relationship on Facebook.
Premature Relationship Status Change
There is no more stressful moment in modern day dating than making the decision to update your relationship status. Not only are you putting yourself on the line with your new love, but you are opening the door for all of your "friends' to add their two cents. Prepare yourself for jokes about break-ups with your hand, questions about your Valtrex prescription and Maury-esque take downs from your baby's momma. Basically it's the Facebook equivalent of being roasted on Comedy Central, but not as amusing.
Staying Friends With Your Ex
I know you wanna be a good person and have a 'no hard feelings' relationship with your ex on Facebook, but you will rue the day you did not unfriend and block him the moment he coldcocked you by breaking-up via relationship status change. This is not a good guy. This is a jerk. You thought it was complicated before? Just wait until your ex becomes a one-man Beavis and Butthead show, giving snarky commentary on every aspect of your new relationship. If you unfriend him at this point, he'll think he still gets to you. Don't let him win. Unfriend!
Starting A Flirtatious Poke War
Poke wars go from playful to rage-inducing in a matter of days. Unwanted poking is never a pleasant thing. IRL or online.
Accidentally Staying Logged In
I'm not saying you should cheat, but if you're going to, don't be a complete dumbass. Even the strongest-willed among us find it difficult not to peruse an open Facebook profile. Although now with the real-time scroll, your flirtatious comments and excessive likes are evident to everyone, even if they're not a snoop.Yeah, we all saw that you 'liked' some skanky ho's status update about wanting a man to come over so she could show them how she likes to take an arrow to the knee. You are SO busted!
Not Cleaning Up Your Timeline
In the olden days, your past was your past. The only way a new boyfriend could find out about your past foibles, was if you got drunk and stupidly confessed them all. Now they can go back through your Timeline and see every lewd photo you posed for and every rude comment made about you in said photo. It's difficult to confront your past, but it's better than having your new love confronted by a picture of you peeing in a 7/11 parking lot.
Clingy Wall Posts
There's a fine line between 'adorably annoying lovey-dovey' posts and 'in need of a restraining order that will do nothing to stop my inevitable murder by this psychopath I'm dating' posts. No one knows exactly what that line is, but anything that includes body parts and crowbars probably qualifies.
Your Dumb Friends
Even if you eliminate the previous 6 things, your relationship could still be destroyed by your doofus friends. They know you better than anyone and they will tag, update and comment to the world every single detail of anything you claim to have no memory about it. YAY!
Have you ever ruined a relationship by doing something stupid on Facebook? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!