8 Disney Channel Shows That Didn't Make The Cut For Fall

 The Disney Channel has enjoyed a tremendous success with such shows as “That’s So Raven!” and “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.” But for every ratings hit there are countless other shows that never even air. Here's just a few...

 

1. My Little Sister, The Robot Programmed To Kill

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Following in the footsteps of numerous other ill-matched sibling series, “My Little Sister” starred the adorable D-Stroya, who had power saws for hands and a pulse laser cannon for a heart. D-Stroya regularly embarrassed her much cooler, older brother Josh at middle school, on dates and during military showdowns as she maimed, killed or simply evaporated the citizens of their hometown of Washington DC.

 

2. Accordion To Jim

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Based on a faulty study that showed polka would be the next big music craze, this show focused on teenager Jim “Squeezebox” Sakowski as he fought off the girls the moment he put on lederhosen and started playing “Roll Out the Barrel.” Each episode ended with Jim sharing what he learned to a 45-minute oompa beat while his grandmother screamed at him in idiomatic Polish.

 

3. Feral Fred

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Hoping to break away from the usual school/home sets, Disney looked to nature with this series about Fred, a boy reared—and somehow bred—by wolves. Unfortunately, Fred could not speak, could not read and could not pee in private, resulting in 1100 hours of unusable footage of a hairy eight-year-old roaming aimlessly, baying at the moon and being forced out of his natural habitat by a Best Buy.

 

4. Dead To Us

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What if your teacher were to die only to come back the next day and resume class? Such was the plot of this series in which Ms. Henderkin’s students found it increasingly impossible to pay attention due to their teacher’s rotting flesh, putrid smell, lower jaw that constantly had to be reattached with Scotch tape and a vulture that kept pecking at her eyeballs. But it was her disturbing romance with the still alive principal that guaranteed this series would never make it to air.

 

5. The Sorceresses Of Secaucus

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Hoping to play off the success of both “The Wizards of Waverly Place” and “Jersey Shore,” this series focused on a bunch of hard-partying Garden State wizards who used their powers to make their junk bigger, to remember where they lived or to make a hot tub suddenly appear, often flooding unsuspecting cabs. But the show failed right out of the gate because of that ridiculous series title that actual increased lisping in children by a whopping 800%.

 

6. Twice The Love

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What happens when a man and his clone adopt two sets of identical twins from parallel universes…and then accidentally walk into an experiment that doubles them all? You get a pilot episode that absolutely no one could follow involving 108 split-screen per scene and actors who repeatedly referred to each character as “hey you” because no one could keep track of anyone else’s name. And all this is before the pet cat gives birth to ten matching kittens who find a magical copying machine.

 

7. Steve Is Not Doing Well

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A teenage boy gets a summer job running a sunglass kiosk in the middle of the desert and slowly loses his mind from a complete lack of social contact and increasing dehydration. Each episode was framed as a story Steve would scream at his right thumb. Storylines included running gags like his arguments with nearby cacti 'neighbors', a hilarious episode where Steve uses ice cream instead of clothes to cover his body and Steve's ongoing paranoid suspicions that each grain of sand was watching him. The series was canceled when the actor playing Steve went clinically insane during the initial 103-shoot for the pilot.

 

8. The Super Surprising Shockingly Surprising Big Surprise

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Two high school students are about to uncover the single greatest, horrifying scandal that has ever rocked the history of their prestigious academy when one of them suddenly quits the case. Seriously, he leaves just like that. After that the series kind of lost its focus.

Which is your favorite failed Disney Channel show? Let us know in the comments!

 

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