8 Doctors You Should Never Visit For Medical Treatment

Doctors are supposed to tell you that you have an ear infection and then smile kindly and hand you a bunch of penicillin and a lollipop. They're supposed to let you sit on their lap while you tell them what's wrong even well into your 40's. They're supposed to be reassuring and dedicated to your well being. But some doctors aren't like the others... 

 

Dr. Dre

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It took a great deal of digging, but I was able to find out that Doctor Dre is actually not a licensed physician. Despite his lack of a degree he still practices podiatry in Los Angeles at "Dr. Dre's House of Healing Feet." He has been prosecuted for malpractice and but never convicted.

 

Harry Howard Holmes

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Known as "Not A Great Guy" by his friends, Harry used to steal bodies from his University and disfigure them to collect insurance money. Then when he graduated he moved on to killing real people, stripping of their flesh, and selling their skeletons to medical schools. When he was a kid he told his parents he either wanted to be a, "police man, fire fighter, or strip the flesh off people and sell them to medical schools."

 

Dr. Jekyll

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You can go to Dr. Jekyll to be healed, healed of being alive that is. Dr. Jekyll's prescription is always the same, "GRrrrowwwwlllllll!," and then usually he swipes at you with his claws and eats the crap out of you.

 

Dr. Josef Mengele

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Known the "Angel of Death" (already not a great sign), Dr. Mengele was the Nazi concentration camp physician as Auschwitz. Pretty much one of the most evil dudes to ever live, AND I heard he doesn't take insurance.

 

Dr. Horrible

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Horrible is in his NAME, and there's no way he's board certified; he couldn't even get into the Evil League of Evil. Only visit him if you need to have a wart frozen off, and even that is iffy.

 

Dr. Seuss

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Doctor Seuss is an OK doctor, except for his brutal racism against sneeches without stars on their bellies and his cruel, relentless campaigning to install so-called "separate but equal" restrooms for them.

 

Dr. Wily

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I went to Dr. Wily to get medicine for a common cold and he knocked me out with a mallet, cut out of my brain, and implanted it in a robot that shoots dangerous clouds out of its left hand. Real a-hole, that guy.

 

Dr. Demento

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Never, ever go to Dr. Demento. Dr. Demento is completely insane. Dr. Demento will replace your heart with a ham sandwich. He thinks it's funny to sit in a giant cheesecake and make baby noises. Sure he's the only Doctor on this list that's never experimented on human subjects or killed a human being, but he does wear a bow tie on OBVIOUSLY INFORMAL OCCASIONANS.

Who are some other doctors you shouldn't visit? Let us know in the comments!

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