8 Lamest Classes At Hogwarts

Hogwarts is a magical school for young wizards with an exciting curriculum full of magic and mystery. Such classes as "Care and Feeding of Magical Creatures" and "Defense Against the Dark Arts" take students on a scholastic wizardly adventure. There's even a class where your teacher is a ghost. But not every class at Hogwarts can be as exciting as "How To Turn an Ordinary Pumpkin into a Velociraptor that Does Your Bidding 101," here are some of the least interesting classes required of students at Hogwarts.

 

1. Robe Maintenance

Robes get pretty dirty, and it's important to have a class that teaches students how best to get rid of tough stains. Questions on the many pop quizzes in the class include, "Robes are machine washable, true of false?" and, "If you are going to use bleach to get out a stain should you A) apply the bleach directly to the wizard robe. B) rub the bleach into the robe C) Wizard Robes are not bleach safe."

 

2. Algebra

Even Wizards need to learn algebra. Except for Hufflepuff, they have to take Shop instead. Because let's face it, nobody in Hufflepuff is going to Wizard college.

 

3. Business and Consumer Spells

This is the class where you learn to cast spells that increase consumer awareness of products, track data related to the constantly fluctuating state of the market, and interpret historical spending trends.

 

4. Defense Against the Modern Arts

This is the class where you learn to fight the forces of modern art, which are neither powerful, nor interesting.

 

5. Dave Matthews Band Appreciation Lecture Series

Mandatory for all wizards, entirely because Dumbledore has a huge boner for the Dave Matthews Band. This class is infuriating and is mostly made of watching Dumbledore listen to "Crash Into Me," and say things like, "Seriously guys, I know it doesn't seem like it rocks, but it definitely rocks."

 

6. Yearbook

For the kids are who aren't athletic enough for Quidditch, and not cool enough to sneak into the Chamber of Secrets after school, get high, and play spin the bottle.

 

7. So You're Not Harry Potter 101

This is the class where you learn to accept the fact that you are NOT Harry Potter and that your life is not going to matter at all in the grand scheme of things, and you'll probably end up getting an ordinary dead end Wizard job casting spells that flip burgers at Carl's Jr., or turning discarded candy wrappers on the side of the freeway into birds for the California Highway Patrol.

 

8. Care and Feeding of Non-Magical Animals

Students who don't make it into "Care and Feeding of Magical Animals" get put in "Care and Feeding of Non-Magical Animals," so while your friends are learning how to mind-meld with a Unicorn-Shark you mostly learn how to check cat ears for flea infestations and what the best way to use a plastic bag to scoop up feces is when you're walking a dog.

What are some classes you'd like to take at Hogwarts? Tell us in the comments below!

 

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