8 MORE Fictional Foods I Wanna Eat
Well, Food Battle 2012 has been officially announced! YAY! But all this food hubbub has made me hungry and since I'm stuck at the computer trying to write stuff with nothing but an empty fridge, I have no choice but to fantasize about food I can't have. So why not fantasize about some fictional food and drink that I can't have? Here's 8 fictional things that would taste so dang good right now!
These beans are like Red Bull in a pill form and without the disgustingly sugary taste. I guess they sell some kind of lame jelly bean version of Senzu Beans, but I want authentic, mystical Senzu beans for Saiyun's sake! If I'm not gaining a massive amount of weight after accidentally slamming a handful of Senzu Beans, then they are NOT the real deal. Oh crap, now I'm scared I'll unconsciously eat too many and pay the price. I did that once with a Costco-sized bag of Goldfish crackers.
Fizzy Lifting Drink
One of my life long dreams is to say to someone "BURP, Charlie! It's the only way!" and not just while encouraging them to lay a massive belch for my amusement. I want to legit save their life with those words. Plus it looks fun to float around for a bit and then burp unashamedly.
Los Pollos Hermanos
Why has no one started this chain yet?? You just know it's like super-jacked up El Pollo Loco! I NEVER crave roast chicken, but I have a feeling that Los Pollos Hermanos chicken is as addictive as the Blue Magic meth that Walter White makes. Here's hoping Gus Fring didn't have the secret recipe on him when he got blown the FRIG' up.
Homer's Patented Out-Of-This World Moon Waffles
Waffles with caramel, a stick of butter and liquid smoke? Sounds like it would be worth the heart attack. I guess it would be more worth it if we threw some bacon in there though. I'm actually kind of surprised Homer didn't think of that.
I love me some meat!!! And quite frankly I'm getting sick of turkey every holiday. I totally wanna throw a beast in the deep fryer next Thanksgiving. It looks succulent. And I like a little mystery every now and again, besides sometimes you're better off not knowing. Especially if the 'beast' in question is like Horton meat or something.
I know Ben and Jerry's made a Schweddy Balls ice cream, but I want to try some actual Schweddy Balls! I mean I totally wanna get my hands on those delicate balls. I bet they are just scrumptious! Sure there may be other tender and delicious smelling balls on the market, but they are not made using the super secret Schweddy family recipe. Everyone knows there's no beating Schweddy Balls!
It's like the original Pinkberry. Only instead of emaciated starlets pounding it by the quart, it's being pounded by tubby creature things. When it comes to what junk food to eat, I always side with the tubbies.
I know you can supposedly get this at the Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, but you just know it's gonna be a HUGE disappointment. Plus you have to go to Orlando and I don't really 'do' Florida. I wanna get tipsy on REAL Butterbeer and then pig out on everything ever sold at Honeyduke's while I stay up all night watching a Dance Moms marathon. Is that too much to ask for?
What fictional foods do you want to eat? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!