8 Reasons Why it WASN'T Better in the Good Old Days
Greatest Generation, Smatest Generation. Your grandpa can sit in that recliner and talk about how much better it was in the olden days 'till the cows come home, but we both know it isn't true. Just because something's old doesn't mean it's good. Case in point: your old as Hell grandpa. That dude just never shuts up, man! And does he really have to watch the TV so damn loud? The next time he starts rambling about how ice cream used to be five cents and how women used to know their place, counter his argument with one of these.
If the question is, "Where my dogs at?" the answer shouldn't be, "Attacking innocent people based solely on their desire to have equal rights."
The Constant Threat of Nuclear War
OK, so some people might say that we still live under the constant threat of nuclear war (South Korea, you so crazy!), but those threats totally don't count. The Iron Curtain? Now that was a threat, people.
Having to Actually Work for a Living
Before cubicles, interwebs, and outsourcing existed, folks swung hammers their whole lives. And their reward for all that hard work? Dying of black lung.
Everyone Was Drunk All the Time
A Mad Men-esque society where lunch equals a sandwich plus three martinis seems delightful...in theory. In practice, however, it just resulted in a butt-ton of horrible, horrible car accidents.
Ladies, look down at your feet. Are they barefoot? Look at your stomach. Is it pregnant? If the answer to both questions is no, thank a feminist.
No Cable TV
Before cable TV existed, shows like Hoarders and Toddlers and Tiaras didn't exist. And that is not a world anyone should have to live in.
No Cell Phones
But...what did people do instead of looking at their phones all the time? Read? TALK TO EACH OTHER? Oh God, I think I'm hyperventilating...
Suspend your disbelief, kids...there was a time in recorded history when people couldn't post "first" in comment threads. Comment threads didn't even exist! These were dark days indeed.
Any other reasons why the past sucks big time? Let me know in the comments, or tell me @Bornferal!