8 Things That Old People Think Are Cool, That Really Aren’t
It’s kind of cute when adults try to be hip to what’s cool with the younger generation. Unfortunately they usually get it so wrong. Here’s a list of some of the lamest things that sadly get mistaken as cool. Share it with an adult in your life, because they really are trying. Unfortunately.
Cyborgs, centaurs and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are all examples of cool combos. You know what’s not a cool combo? Jeans and leggings. Even worse… Jeggings combined with about 99% of people who wear them. I’m looking at you Pete Wentz! If you do get a pair as a gift make sure to burn them or your mom might decide to try them out and will find them so comfortable she starts running errands in them.
There really is nothing sadder than when your cool aunt takes you and your 8-year-old sister to the Bieber movie and you realize she’s not doing it for you. Or your sister. She’s doing it for herself. She’ll try to give you the being cool is doing what you want and not caring what people think speech. Just let her be ‘cool’ all by herself and take your sister’s hand and RUN!
If you like tons of crappy music options, spam and sexy lady friends who wanna get to know you on the account you never deleted, then nothing is cooler then Myspace. Luckily for Myspace, a lot of adults are still a few years behind on the social networking scene. So if you see your dad searching for ‘cool’ custom Myspace layouts, just be thankful he’s not torturing you on Facebook like everyone else’s parents are.
Usually things that get banned from school are somewhat cool. Harry Potter books. ‘I love Boobies’ bracelets. Flaming Hot Cheetos. Silly Bandz is not one of them. In fact Silly Bandz are the least bad a** thing to ever be banned in the history of ever. So if you get a pack from grandma, just be polite, say thank you, and then go to the nearest elementary school and trade them for some candy.
Disney Channel Stars
Acting, singing, dancing… is there anything Disney Channel stars don’t suck at? There is nothing cool about the manufactured ‘talent’ that Disney is churning out. Actually, those Vanessa Hudgens photos were kind of cool in a really hot, really un-Disney sort of way. So if your grandpa puts on Radio Disney when you’re in the car, turn it off and say you’d rather talk in detail about his impending gallbladder surgery. Hey... it’s true!
Sure, Glee used to be not so horrible, but it never used to be cool. You best make sure your uncle is clear about this before he surprises you with tickets to Glee In Concert this summer. That’s hundreds of dollars he could put towards buying you an iPad 2, a gift which really would make him the coolest uncle ever.
See Disney Channel Stars. Add piercings, guyliner and a faux rebellious nature. Believe me, most adults will breathe a sigh of relief when they realize you don’t think Avril Lavigne is the modern day Joan Jett, or Good Charlotte is the new Clash. Shudder!
It doesn’t matter if Twi-hards consider themselves Team Jacob or Team Edward, the rest of the world considers them all Team ‘lonely girls who cry over supernaturally bad actors’. And when your aunt proudly declares she’s Team Jacob, in a misguided attempt to connect with you, lovingly take her hand and tell her she’s actually Team ‘creepy lady lusting after barely legal boy’. Then give her the number of a good tattoo removal clinic.
What are some other things that old people think are cool… that just aren’t? Let us know in the comments!