The 8 Types Of People Who REALLY Look At Your Facebook Profile!

No spam scam is more prolific on Facebook than the old "Find Out Who's Viewing Your Profile NOW!" one. No matter how many times it's revealed to be nothing but a scam, people still can't resist the urge to click that link when it's presented to them. Call it narcissism or call it, well...I guess it's just narcissism, people really seem to wanna know. But you really don't need to annoy all your friends again. It's not the person you secretly love, the most popular girl in school or Justin Bieber. Here are the people who really ARE looking at your Facebook profile. 

 

Your Parents

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Hello? They feel it is their duty as parents to constantly monitor your page. Not only do they look at your page, they log into your account to look at your personal messages and they will send out updates as you, letting everyone know that they have just pwned your ass. Parents have no sense of humor on Facebook, unless it's at your expense. 

 

Your Ex

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You do it to them. Why wouldn't they do it to you? This is why it's important to constantly Facebrag. You can never kick an ex hard enough while they're down.

 

The Person Who Lives In Fear That You Will Broadcast Your 'Friendship' To The WORLD

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They are probably only friends with you because you are related or you're the child of their parents' friends. She can never take away your memories of all the time you spent playing doctor together as children. Mental pictures of private parts are forever.

 

The Person Just Waiting To Call You On Your Sh*t

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This person knows you too well and loves nothing more than making your life a living hell. Make a mistake with your and you're? You're screwed. Brag about an accomplishment? Your friend is there to remind people of the time you shart at the senior prom. Seven out of ten times this person is also your ex.

 

Someone Who's Crushing On You

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For the person crushing on you, your info page is their bible. They will use it to fake how much you have in common and then they will download all your photos so they can make a slideshow, with Rolling In The Deep as the soundtrack. Every little thing you do causes them severe despair or unwarranted euphoria. Both of which involve mentally ill crazy tears.

 

The Person You Accepted Out Of Pity

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You're his only friend. He can spend hours staring at your page trying to come up with somethng witty to say. Then he usually gives up and decides to fap.

 

People Who Love To Hate You

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These people LOVE to get aggressive when you're passive-agressive. They constantly consider unfriending you but loving to hate you is actually listed as one of their hobbies and interests. When they are bored they use your wall as 'Oh Snap!'  target practice.

 

The Person Trying To Avoid You

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If you have one of these people looking at your wall, that means you yourself are a Facebook page stalker. And probably Forever Alone. Well, unless you count all your Farmville Friends. I'm sure they'll be happy to help plough your field. OH SNAP!

Who do you think is looking at your profile? Let me know @desijedeikin or tell us in the comments below?

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