8 Ways Besides Grenades For Bruno Mars To Kill Himself
If you’ve been near a radio lately, you’re probably heard that song “Grenade” by Bruno Mars. I think most radio stations are playing it back to back now.
You don’t have to listen to the whole thing. Actually, it’s better if you don’t. The gist of the song is that Bruno is willing to kill/hurt himself for this girl. Here’s the chorus:
I’d catch a grenade for ya...
Throw my hand on a blade for ya...
I’d jump in front of a train for ya...
He never says it’s a live grenade, or if the knife blade or a blade of grass, or if the train is moving, but let’s assume he is putting himself in danger. Why stop with grenades and trains (which don’t really rhyme, btw)? Here are some other ways to die that Bruno Mars should add to the song.
I’d eat too much buffet for ya.
This is possible at Golden Corral.
I’d battle Raticate for ya.
I'm on team Raticate.
I’ll sit in this closed garage with the car running for ya.
This might take a few minutes.
I’d fight John McLane for ya.
This is NOT an even fight, even though John McClane isn’t real.
I’d lay under a gay parade for ya.
The marchers might walk around, but those scooters would probably get him.
I’d join the band Staind for ya.
Not really THAT dangerous, but for a pop star like Bruno Mars, it would be career suicide.
I’ll shot myself right now and get brains all over your pretty little dorm room. Is that what you want? IS IT?… for ya.
I think we should take him seriously now.