8 WTF Celebrity Websites
I hope you have some free time because you are going to want to visite each and every one of these websites.
Crazy cheap, crazy stupid or just plain crazy, here’s my list of the 8 most wtf celebrity websites.
It’s kind of like menopause and Lilith Fair and a unicorn ‘made love’ and had a baby that became a website. At one point I was instructed by Melanie’s voice to enter the magic door, which I’m pretty sure would have transported me to a world where I would start saying things like “Oh my goddess!” and I would forever lose whatever the female version of balls is. Maybe that’s what happened to Antonio Banderas?
The first thing you should notice is the design. It looks like Kitt took a black and chrome-colored dump on it. The second thing you should notice is a section titled blogs—click it immediately. You can spend hours reading Knight Rider fan fiction and poetry so bad that I can only assume the people who wrote it don’t speak English. But only the most non-ironic fans of David should register to get their very own blog. The moderators of this site have a strict “Don’t hassle the Hoff” policy.
Hey y’all! I got a website now! You can re-see all my tweets repackaged as posts, buy an “It’s Britney… B*tch!” T-shirt and y’all better check out the BS Alert, a page where I post all those lying tabloid stories about me and stamp Bulls**t across them. Isn’t that hysterical, y’all? Yeah…that about sums it up.
The only thing older than Gene Simmons’ creepy horndog schtick, is the look of his website. 1999 called—they want their html back. Snap!
You might think you know everything about Paris…Likes: DUI’s and concealing her lazy eye. Dislikes: Lindsay “firecrotch” Lohan and wearing underwear. Luckily she has what I’m sure is a completely unmoderated community page on her site where you can read all her fan tributes and gain some new insight into who she really is. For instance, did you know she has a golden heart? She does. So says number one fan Marlene from Argentina, who also proclaims, and I quote, “if I was in the government I shall name you a queen.” I don’t think that’s how it works, Marlene, but to be safe I hope you are never elected to any queen-appointing offices.
This site is wtf in the best possible way. It’s Tim Burton-ian. And just like Jim, his site also appears to have ADD. Cause after spending some time on it, I feel like I need a Ritalin with a red wine chaser.
Indie actor Vincent Gallo's website is hilarious, he isn’t too cool to sell merchandise either! Posters, autographed DVDs, his escort services and his sperm are all available. Yup. Just click on ‘personal services’ if you don’t believe me. But not so fast with those turkey basters ladies, there are a lot of caveats on that sperm purchase. I recommend reading all of the fine print, which sounds like it was written by the lovechild of Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen. Oh and cash or bank-wire only, people. Vincent Gallo does NOT accept checks!
The minute you log on, the frenetic rhythm of “Xenu’s Theme” greets you. You’re entranced by the intensity of Tom Cruises gaze as he stares right into your pre-clear soul. He reads you like an e-meter… He is Tom Cruise…. the greatest humanitarian that has ever lived… sooooo hypnotizing. I would Operating Thetan Level him any day. Come to think of it, there is absolutely nothing wtf about this website… for the love of L. Ron Hubbard, what’s happening to me?!?!
What’s your favorite wtf celebrity website? Let us know in the comments!