9 Fads Our Kids Will Make Fun Of Us For

Ever since I was born my life has been a constant attempt to distance myself from my parents. Upon my eventual release and liberation from the household I grew up in, I quickly began emulating everything they’ve ever done in an attempt to be a fully functioning adult. Part of my immediate distaste for my parents’ lifestyle was their nostalgic point of view on what I saw as “lame 70s crap.” Who wore bellbottoms, ever? Why were people so racist? George Thorogood is turrable! However once I started to look at the way my generation was growing up, I quickly realized we were going to get so much crap from our kids; for fads way worse than sideburns. So I give you the 8 fads our kids will make fun of us for. Enjoy.

 

Myspace

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By the time we have kids they're gonna have profiles for facekinect+5000 and whatever the hell that is is going to be way cooler than anything Myspace did. Think about it guys. We would post annoying mp3s of crappy early aughts hip-hop that blared through the speakers the second you pulled up the page. It took 10 years to load… And worst of all, it started the fad of annoying purse-faced girls taking photos of themselves in a bathroom mirror.

 

POGS

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Were they awesome? Yes. Were they badass? Yes. Were they pointless? You bet! The 90's were a time of peace and prosperity. We had no worries in this great country of Amurrca so naturally we decided to spend our time and money on cardboard circles people used to cut out of milk cartons for free. However, the intense pressure of playing for keeps taught us valuable lessons as children...or something like that. 

Disney Channel Radio "Stars"

Were they awesome? No. Were they badass? No. Were they pointless? You bet! At some point in the 2000s Disney decided that TV and movies and games and merchandise, but that wasn't enough. They were gonna go after your ears. So we had a series of Cyruses and Britney Spears little-sisters and Jonases that never were really popular on real radio, and were almost set up to become disappointments.

 

 

Boy Bands

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Man, remember when you ladies had the poster of the dude from The Social Network and the gay guy who tried to go into space hanging in your bedroom? To be fair though these guys were way cooler than Justin Bieber. They harmonized, they danced, they dated Britney Spears…the only thing they couldn’t do was stay relevant. Plus they inspired one of the greatest stories ever told. A little film called 2gether.

 

Cards

 

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Magic Cards, Pokemon Cards, Star Wars Cards; the only fad that wasn’t turned into a card game in the late 90s was VH1, and I’m pretty sure they tried. Although I never recall actually playing any of these card games, I do remember bugging the crap out of my parents to buy them for me. It’s a shame everything takes place on the internet these days, kids no longer have the pleasure of throwing hissy-fits in public places.

 

Metro Attire

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MESH ALL THE THINGS! This was the worst you guys. This was the Howard the Duck of fashion and it nearly bankrupted our souls. I’m not saying that the gay community doesn’t know how to dress, trust me, THEY DO. But they know how to dress the gay community, not a bunch of schlubby teenage boys who live in the south. Trust me, if the straight guy wanted a queer eye, they’d ask for it.

 

Beanie Babies

 

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These little guys were the tipping point of annoying 90's excess trends. Some of these guys sold for thousands of dollars and depreciated in value faster than the Sega Saturn. I remember my orthodontist had like 5000 of these in his waiting room. Which always felt like a cocky move for someone who tried to justify charging a few grand for little metal wires.

 

Hipsters

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They were lame WAY before all these other fads were lame. So lame you’ve probably never heard of itOHMYGOD I can’t wait for this to go away. What is it with wealthy kids wanting to dress poor. The punks did it in the 80s, grunge in the 90s, and hipsters have managed to climb into a second decade. It’s almost over, I know, and the worst is behind us. But a little part of me can’t help but think that people like this are why the rest of the world hates us.

 

Dane Cook

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Say what you will about how you “always hated him” and how you “never found him funny” but the fact of the matter is he WAS popular for a LONG time and you DID laugh at his Burger King joke. And to be perfectly honest, he wasn’t completely turrable at first. But over-exposure and doing the same thing over and over again made everyone realize how stale and uninspired he really was. Which is what happens with fads and the people who worship them. It just stings a little more when it’s a person and not a stuffed parakeet.

What fads do you think will quickly pass? Other than my Smosh posts. Let me know in the comment sections below or holla back girl at me @danborrelli

 

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